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Just Found Out :
I hate her name!

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 allfalldown (original poster member #39324) posted at 3:33 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

I absolutely fucking hate the name of the OW. I hear it everywhere...movies, tv shows, signs, etc. I want to do a roll call of OW names...but it is just a name and shared by thousands of other women. Will this hate go away?

Dday 5-10-13
1 year + EA/PA (still TT)
Me- BW
Him- WH
M- 15 years
2 kiddos
Today's forecast is foggy with a chance of D.

"Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie"

posts: 58   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2013   ·   location: hell on earth
id 6355751
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roughroadahead ( member #36060) posted at 3:41 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

I hate the OW's name too. And it really was everywhere last year. Not only is it a name common in her generation, it is also an adjective. It was the name of a huge hurricane last year. Some may even say it was a superstorm. There was a terrible tragedy at an elementary school on the eastern side of the country, again with her name in it. I literally could not get away from it.

A year later, has it gone away? Some, but not really. It doesn't make me as angry as it used to, but i have a hard time using the word. I am working on detaching, and as that happens, that stupid whore's name stops mattering so much. She really is nothing.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

posts: 751   ·   registered: Jul. 9th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6355762
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SAR681 ( member #36285) posted at 3:45 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

I physically tense up when I hear her name. Her name is not allowed in my house. She's known as either "Psycho" or "The Whore" depending on whether the person that I am talking to is in the know or not.

BW – Me, 32 FWH - Him, 33
Married 9 years, together for 14
3 Kids: 5 yrs, 3 yrs, 18 months
MOW - my "friend"
DD#1 – July 2012, admitted to an EA
DD#2 – 1/14/13, finally admitted to PA

http://endureevolve.blogspot.com/

posts: 122   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2012   ·   location: Somewhere in Middle America
id 6355770
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Offhispedestal ( member #32528) posted at 3:47 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

The hate does calm down quite a bit.

But you will ALWAYS flinch just a bit when you hear it. I'm sure you feel like its everywhere. I feel the same way too. It seems every time I watch any episode of a crime series like Special Vitims Unit, 48 hrs etc....

At some point I hear " they were murdered April 12, 2000. Or we watch the Vampire Diaries and one of the Characters name is April.. I have to see it and hear for one entire month. I have to see it on the cover of my iPhone ...yes it sucks

ME-48
WH-49
Married 27


2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R

posts: 748   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2011
id 6355776
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LifeIsBroken ( member #27071) posted at 3:48 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

I never refer to 'her' by her name; I have too many friends by that same name and I do not NOT! want to associate 'her' with them.... so I'm happy to just refer to her as the bimbo although she's hardly attractive - or, maybe she is if you like a female with man hands & man feet and a horse face.

D-Day: 8/28/2009
BW: 59 @ D-Day XH: 60 @ D-Day Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
Beyond terror is freedom. (Agnes Martin)

posts: 1242   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 6355779
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stilltrying2025 ( member #39145) posted at 3:49 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

Ha....mine is Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Fucking Brady Bunch! I hear it all the time and I literally get sick to my stomach. I used to play a Brady Bunch slot game on Facebook but I won't any more because I would show clips of "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia"! Couldn't handle it. HUGE trigger for me. You are not alone by any means

Me: 38
WH: 43
DD: Thanksgiving Day, 2012
Status: Separated

posts: 184   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Minnesota
id 6355782
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 3:54 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

I think my hate for the OW's name tapered pretty quickly because so many other people in my life who I care about have the same name.

FWH and I still have to go into explain mode if we refer to one of our same-name friends, but the bad feelings towards the name have definitely diminished.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6355787
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BW2639 ( member #34875) posted at 4:18 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

I won't refer to him with his name; I usually just refer to him as " Rat Bastard"

married 21 yrReconciling

posts: 234   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2012
id 6355808
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JustForgave ( member #36038) posted at 4:29 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

I just call them c and m, because they aren't important enough to capitalize their names.

Me: 52
DD: 15

Learning to be me, again!

posts: 482   ·   registered: Jul. 6th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 6355818
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Linus1968 ( member #31243) posted at 4:34 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

I got lucky. Honest to God, the OM has the same first name as the man in those Direct Auto Insurance commercials. You know: Mr. Hightail (I will omit the first name to protect the OM's idenity). I see those commercial and laugh to myself...

Heck, who am I kidding. I tell everyone that is the name of my WW's BF.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

[This message edited by Linus1968 at 10:36 PM, May 30th (Thursday)]

Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 17, D:15
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

posts: 257   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2011   ·   location: Florida
id 6355826
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ok4now ( member #35896) posted at 4:52 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

Mine shares the same name as my BFF.

BS - 45 (me), WS - 39, DD - 11
Separated (under the same roof) - 5/18
WS- moved out 8/20 (thank god)
D Day’s - 6/2/11 EA (would have been a PA if the OW was game), 2/9/17 EA work colleague, 4/12/18 PA his assistant of 10 years

posts: 214   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2012   ·   location: Maryland
id 6355843
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h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 5:21 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

My ex's New Dad shares a last name with a major street in my city. I kin of had to get over the revulsion or I wouldn't have been able to go anywhere.

posts: 3136   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: Baja Arizona
id 6355869
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brokensunflower ( member #38674) posted at 5:31 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

yeah I hate the OW name too .. I just refer to her as homewrecking whore .. because that's just what she is ...

me 34
him 34
7 wonderful kids 14 yrs 10 yrs 7 yrs 6 yrs and 4 yrs 2yr ..and new baby
married 15years together for 12

my give a damn is busted

posts: 265   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2013   ·   location: cold ohio
id 6355880
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NoraLee ( member #37922) posted at 5:32 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

Her name used to be a trigger - very common name...

At our first MC session, mc asked, "what will we call the affair partner?"

"Whore" was just about to leave my lips when H just blurted out her name. I made a face and rolled my eyes, but didn't make a big deal out of it...so we had to use her name every week for awhile... And it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm glad I did - I work in a school with 2 lovely ladies with the same name.

Me - BW - 44
Him - FWH - 42
Married 16 years
D day - 1/2 truth - July 2012
Full disclosure - August 2012
EA with skanky waitress coworker
3 kids - 14, 16, 21
In R

posts: 791   ·   registered: Dec. 28th, 2012   ·   location: Canada
id 6355881
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knolls ( member #39242) posted at 5:41 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

Me too!!!

She shares a name with a cheese. And the other day I was quiche and added said cheese, made me want to barf.

I hate condoms too. I was at a store tonight and there they were taunting me right in my face

I am stronger than the storm.
I take every experience in my life, no matter how horrendous it was, as a learning experience

posts: 81   ·   registered: May. 13th, 2013
id 6355885
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wontdefineme ( member #31421) posted at 5:55 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

I did too, but I used it to his face so she was the person in the room with us not just some hateful word. It will hurt for a while, but it helped me, especially when I told everyone who she was.

posts: 2328   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2011
id 6355889
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mysticmoons ( new member #38861) posted at 6:07 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

Her name has never been used in our conversations, its always been Whore. Lucky for me I dont know anyone else by that name, it is my good friends dogs name though. So now when I go to my friends house and see the dog I just leave out the "Y" at the end of the name...it helps

Me: 39 BGF
Him: 45 WBF
DD#1 02/06/13 Found 6 months of texts between him and my friend
DD#2 03/14/13 Found texting between him and a 24 year old he met at his gig
DD#3 03/17/13 confessed to BJ from bar SLUT
DD#4 03/18/13 Had sex 2X with bar SLUT

posts: 27   ·   registered: Apr. 1st, 2013   ·   location: mysticmoons
id 6355897
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Markay81 ( new member #39387) posted at 9:17 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

For me its bar whore or gutter slut. My husband is many many names and at this moment none of them are nice.

Ugh! Sometimes reality sucks.
BS (me) 31
WH (him) 33
OW - married Bar Whore Rig Rat
Married 14 years
3 amazing kids
DDay-3/03/2013 TT.The whole truth came out(hopefully) 06/09/2013
Currently on the roller coaster of R.

posts: 48   ·   registered: May. 29th, 2013
id 6355973
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Betrayed67 ( member #38134) posted at 10:31 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

I hate the woman's name with a passion. When WH and I talk about the A, I refer to her as the SLUT and FILTHY WHORE. He always look down and embarrassed when that whore's name comes up.

Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
Married 13years
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites

posts: 131   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2013   ·   location: New Zealand
id 6355992
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absolut ( member #37933) posted at 10:36 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013

In my case her name is doubly annoying to me in that it's basically misspelled. You know how it's somewhat trendy now to give your kid a common name but spell it differently?

For example, Emilie instead of Emily or Jessyca instead of Jessica. Or Ashlee or something like that. So now I always give people with these sorts of names the side-eye.

posts: 421   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2012
id 6355993
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