This Topic is Archived
dindy (original poster member #38424) posted at 3:29 PM on Friday, May 31st, 2013
It's been 4 months since DDay and today when xWS came to collect our son he had to come into my home for a short time as my son was just waking up from his nap. I feel absolutely nothing when I see him now, no anger or sadness. Is this normal so soon after DDay?
She11ybeanz ( member #27457) posted at 3:31 PM on Friday, May 31st, 2013
Indifference is a good thing....but usually happens with more time. Don't be surprised if the rollercoaster starts back up again though..... I'm 3 and a half years post D-day and still have my moments every now and then...
Be kind to yourself! 
((HUGZ))
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
dindy (original poster member #38424) posted at 4:10 PM on Friday, May 31st, 2013
You're right She11ybeanz, I am expecting another roller coaster as surely I can't get over someone I have been with for nearly 9 years that quickly. Though, I do think the length of happiness between each sad state is stretching out which is a good thing. :)
She11ybeanz ( member #27457) posted at 4:27 PM on Friday, May 31st, 2013
Yes...and the moments of sadness and anger will come less and less over time. I still have my moments...but they are not nearly as often as they were in the beginning! I was with my XWH for 8 years....so I totally understand where you are coming from!
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 5:28 PM on Friday, May 31st, 2013
It is definitely a coaster for a while, especially for those of you that have to co-parent and have so much direct contact with the WS.
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
stillsad1970 ( member #38977) posted at 1:08 AM on Friday, June 14th, 2013
Nope 2 months out,dont give a shit,probably because he cheated lied and was a coward that it makes its easier. If thats how you feel , friggin awesome!
phmh ( member #34146) posted at 1:28 AM on Friday, June 14th, 2013
Don't compare yourself to other people too much -- what's normal for one person is not what's normal for the next!
I think it's a huge combination of your personality (resiliency appears to be hard-wired), your circumstances, the state of your marriage pre-D-Day, etc.
At four months out, we'd filed for D, but I was still hopeful he'd become the man I always thought he was. I didn't reach indifference until about 7 months post D-Day. But I have an advantage in that we didn't have kids together and no financial ties, so he's completely out of my life so I can move on.
Indifference is the goal. XWH now is just someone that I used to know.
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
This Topic is Archived
