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Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 9:24 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
It's done. So much for a June 30 deadline. I tend to be obsessive. Been typing for hours. And it's finished. My chest isn't as tight as it was a week ago. A small, very small weight has lifted. But the stress of Mr. C's reaction is there.
He knows a little. But I typed a lot more.
Babe, I'm so sorry you're going to read all that. I'm sorry that you are a victim of my brutality and brokenness. I'm sorry for the hurt. I'd give anything to take this hurt away from you.
People, if you're asked to do a timeline. Just do the dang thing. And for crying out loud, be honest with it. Even if they don't ask for a timeline, do it anyway. Tuck it away for if/when it's needed. If it's never needed, lucky you. If it is needed, at least it's done.
Peace out.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 9:36 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
WTG!!! 
Now for the REALLY tough part I guess..... hang in there.
((((Aubrie))))
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 9:39 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
((Aubrie and Mr. C))
You did the right thing. Does Mr. C plan on reading it?
EmotionalFool ( member #37362) posted at 9:43 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
WW: 28 (ME)
BH: 28 (SI profile: CrappyLife)
D-Day- 15/10/12
SuperDuperWonderboy ( member #34716) posted at 9:51 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.
Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 9:55 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
Now for the REALLY tough part
Yeah, no kidding eh?
Does Mr. C plan on reading it?
He's already started.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 9:59 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
He's already started.
I'll be thinking of you all. If he needs a shoulder, there's a few thousand of us dudes waiting here for him.
Take care.
TattoodChinaDoll ( member #34602) posted at 10:04 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 10:33 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
If he needs a shoulder, there's a few thousand of us dudes waiting here for him.
I will pass the message along. Thank you.
TCD, I've been keeping an eye out on you. You're doing good.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 10:44 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
WTG Aubrie
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
MissesJai ( member #24849) posted at 10:48 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
good job Aubrie. Very proud of you.
44
Happily divorcing..
My Life is Mine!!!!
#BlackLivesMatter
Don't settle for no fuck shit....
Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 2:29 AM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013
Freaking stressing out. I shouldn't. But I am.
Not really seeing the victory and "woohoo" in doing this. Just gonna have to deal with this crap all over again. See his hurt and disappointment again. May be worse. May be better. But the wait is agony.
Refraining from spiraling into the cesspool is hard right now.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
marion ( member #33625) posted at 2:42 AM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013
Hi Aubrie,
Just wanted to say good for you for doing it....hardest thing i ever did was read the my FWH's timeline....but just knowing that he could be that honest after all of the bs was a big step forward for us....it hurt ....more than i expected (if that is possible), but not having it after i asked would have hurt more....it is hard to see past the pain and remember that causing your betrayed spouse more pain can be just as scary and awful (if truly remorseful)...so good for you....and good luck to you both...wishing you peace and happiness.
Marion
KBeguile ( member #38348) posted at 3:12 AM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013
You're right, Aubrie. It's not a "woohoo" moment, but it's definitely a moment of relief, release, and acceptance. Nothing more to hide, nothing more to fear. It's the weight off your chest and the monkey off your back. It's not a superlative feeling, but it's better than the alternative.
Please, keep us posted.
Me: WS 34
Her: BS 37 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 7yo
M: 9 years
DDays: 2012/11/14-2013/02/05, 2013/03/09, 2016/02/19
solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 3:25 AM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013
You're both in my thoughts and prayers.
BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams
starrysky ( member #14669) posted at 3:42 AM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013
YEAH Aubrie!!! My H never asked for a timeline either, just had some questions, but never a timeline. Once I came to SI & started reading about it, I did it on my own. 7 years later & he's never read it but I have it locked away should his need ever arise.
It hurt like hell to write it & hurt worse knowing what it would be like should he ever choose to read it, but you're right, the weight does lift a little.
I'm proud of you!
"The grass is not greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it"
Me(37)-FWW/BS
Him(36)-BH/WH The love of my life
2 Daughters: 15,11
Married 14 years Together 17 years
11 Month EA & PA
Beautifully Reconciled
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 4:34 AM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013
Tell Mr. Aubrie that he is welcome to contact me if he wants to talk through this.
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 4:53 AM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013
Aubrie, I think you are so strong and awesome.
I really hope things go okay for you and Mr. C.
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 5:00 AM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 5:03 AM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
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