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TruthSimply (original poster new member #38700) posted at 4:03 AM on Friday, June 14th, 2013
Ok so when my wife an I get into an argument I tend to get angry. i.e. raising my voice and name calling. I am looking for ways to control this. If anyone has any suggestions please feel free, because I am tired of overreacting and don't want to further jeopardize my marriage with my anger. Thanks in advance for all of yalls help.
Listeningclosely ( member #16472) posted at 9:40 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2013
It's hard not to get defensive under normal circumstances. But to do so when you have opened yourself up for attack is even harder.
Set some base rules up for yourself. Maybe a 24 hour rule. If she attacks, you tell her you will listen but that you will not react until 24 hours have passed to calm down and really listen to what she said.
If that won't work because she wants an immediate response, maybe get in the habit of asking one or two clarifying questions or restate the question a different way to give yourself the time to calm down and respond rationally.
Are you dealing is anger issues in IC?
BW(her)- 57, FWH (me) 59. 4 month Online EA, M 32 years, together for 36. 3 Daughters and 1 Son - 32, 29, 25 and 24. D-day 6/2/07, in R. FORGIVENESS 1/1/2008!!!". Action expresses priorities." - Mohandas Gandhi
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