We are now a bit over 6 months from d-day now and I feel like things are going okay. But, I am concerned that I have become complacent and maybe I am not doing enough.
During the first few months, I read fully a few books, read and posted on SI regularly, had very long deep discussions with my BS, went to MC weekly, and really focused on making some serious changes in my life and my behavior. Now, I don’t devote as much time to reading, we attend MC about every 2 to 3 weeks, and our talks are more sporadic. Also, our MC sessions have not completely focused on the A or our marriage and have a few times drifted to topics of dealing with our children.
The changes I have put into place have stuck. I realized that I had a general lack of respect for my BS and did not put her and our marriage first but now I do and will continue to do. I also realized that porn was a big issue and when compounded with flirtatious activity we both had with some close friends was a recipe for disaster. I realized that porn did not need to be in my life and simply don’t view it or think about it period. We also both act very differently in our friendships and continue to make sure we only have friends of the marriage. We also do much more together and continue to do new things together we both enjoy. My BS also has full access to everything and I keep her updated as to my whereabouts often.
We use our MC as an IC as well though our individual sessions are rare. We both however bring up individual issues together and don’t have problems speaking freely in front of one another so maybe not having regular alone time with the counselor is okay.
So in short, I struggle between thinking I am already doing everything needed and that maybe there is something else.
At 6 months from d-day, is there more I could be doing?
