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easiersaid (original poster member #38398) posted at 6:51 PM on Monday, June 17th, 2013
Father's Day took me by surprise. We have two kids and I'm about 5 months post DD. WH is remorseful, trying to fix himself (IC) and help me heal (I'd say 75% of the time...the other 25% we are so busy we fall back into our old happy norms). I am fortunate to have an amazingly simple relationship with my Dad: he loves me, I love him, unconditionally, no questions asked. While my husband has had his problems (alcohol, money, and of course, now this), I always thought I had the same love with him. But clearly I don't, and I am unlikely to ever again. This realization has send me back on the downward spiral of the rollercoaster. Any ideas on how to get back up? Or do I just ride the course? 
Me: BS, 40 yrs
Him: WS, 41 yrs (4 PA over 14 yrs, 2 ONS, 2 current PA of 3 months and 2 yrs)
Two small children
Married 17 years
D-day: 1/26/13
dameia ( member #36072) posted at 8:49 PM on Monday, June 17th, 2013
Sorry you're so down.
If you haven't talked to your WH about how you're feeling, then go ahead a do so. Rage at him if you feel it necessary.
Get those feelings out. They're like a poison eating away at your soul.
FWIW, I hit a MAJOR anger stage around 5-6 months, and many other people on here did as well. Its possible that's what headed your way. If so, hang on, it does get better, although it seems like it never will.
Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12
Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.
easiersaid (original poster member #38398) posted at 11:18 PM on Monday, June 17th, 2013
Thanks. He has been getting an ear full, so I do think I am hitting the rage/anger phase. I am just tired of baby steps and wonder how I got involved with a man that is so damaged.
I guess we all wonder something similar.
Me: BS, 40 yrs
Him: WS, 41 yrs (4 PA over 14 yrs, 2 ONS, 2 current PA of 3 months and 2 yrs)
Two small children
Married 17 years
D-day: 1/26/13
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