He had an EA ending in Dec 2012 when I found out. He had a PA 15 years before that also stooped when I found out, he also watched porn on his own. He says he is full of regret about his actions and promised nothing like this will happen again.
I know he masturbates at times I do not have a problem with this except for my selfish reasons i.e. what is wrong with me.
We have remained together.
Separate rooms for 4 months (my choice)since April we share the same bed.
He does not want to have sex with me and has not wanted to for many years.
He says it is him not me. He says he wants us to get intimate and have sex again.
We have just come back from a 'romantic' weekend away we got on really well but he made no move to have intimacy with me.
In the past I have made moves to him but after being rebutted so many times I stopped. There is only so much hurt I could take. my self worth is very low.
He also said many times he likes to be in control and make the moves.
In fairness he is a good father & grandfather he will do anything for me except sex!
I always say actions speak louder than words and if the words and actions don't add up look at the actions.
If he was not unfaithful I would accept this sexless marriage even though I know it is an important aspect of life.
I am so full of hurt and doubt. I know counselling is an option. I would really like to hear your views.
Have you ever heard of such a thing? we have been married a long time; our lives are very intertwined with family/ finances. Hopefully you can help me find some answers.