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TXBW68 (original poster member #36456) posted at 7:36 PM on Tuesday, June 25th, 2013
I have been holding back on a few questions to H. I think I was scared of the answers. Sunday morning I put on my brave girl panties and asked them. I didn't intend to but I had had a dream about OW2 and everything was rolling around in my head when I woke up. So I laid there in his arms and asked...
And he answered everything. The questions aren't important for this thread. What's important is that I think I'm finally satisfied. Sure, there are other details that I could ask. But I don't feel the need anymore. I think I can finally let everything stay in the past and move forward with our life together.
He is completely remorseful. Does anything and everything to help me. He told me that he knows that he was an idiot and he wants to be the man that I deserve again. He's happy to not live a double-life anymore. He just wants to be my husband in every sense of the word.
I'm not naive enough to think that I won't ever trigger or remember what he did. I'm just saying that I'm ready to move forward. I haven't formally forgiven him yet. But I can now see it in our future. And our future looks pretty damn good right now!
PS - I would not have survived the last year without everyone here!! Thank you!!
Me (46) WH (42),2 boys 15 & 11
M 18yrs T 22yrs
Separated 10 months (4/12 to 2/13)
Final Total - #1/#2 ONS and #3/#4 EA/PA - left me for #4, didn't know about #2 and 3 until he moved back home
We are solidly in R now
unfound ( member #12802) posted at 10:51 PM on Tuesday, June 25th, 2013
having questions answered honestly does a lot of good, even if painful, in being able to move forward 
.
continued forwardness to you!
ka-mai
*************
Kids on the playground can be so cruel. “Get off the swings you’re like 50, and stop talking about Soundgarden, we don't even know what that is."
LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 2:08 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
That must be a great feeling.
Thanks for posting some good stuff!
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 2:45 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
DoneWithLove ( member #39380) posted at 3:19 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
I felt better after I got all of my questions answered. My H thought it would make things worse because he didnt understand that for me honesty is better then blissful ignorance. I feel like we are on the path no too. My He has been basically a 180° from what he was pre A. I love him more for his efforts and strides hes made in helping me heal. There's alot of negative people out there that'll tell you to do the opposite of what you feel you should do because they've BTDT. I also have BTDT with my ex. I know what a man looks like when hes truly remorseful and when hes doing just enough to keep me around. I feel the same way now about my H that you do about yours and am happy that there's someone thats also having a good R. Remember, only after devistation comes the opportunity for new life to begin. Good luck
BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13
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