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tryingagain74 (original poster member #33698) posted at 2:45 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
There's a ring I really want now that I'm no longer wearing my "ambiguity ring" since my D is final.
Did you guys splurge on anything when your D was final? More importantly, how did you do it and not feel terribly guilty?
I'm so bad at this. I never want to buy myself anything remotely expensive. I always think, "That could be a car repair bill" or something similar.
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
OnceInALifetime ( member #26023) posted at 3:05 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
I bought a new digital piano. Put it off for a while because they ain't cheap, but I am *so* glad I did it. It's my main therapy.
I've never understood jewelry, because it doesn't actually *do* anything. But I guess that's what makes me a guy
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 3:07 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
I purchased a new car and a townhouse about a year after my divorce was final. I didn't feel guilty because I work hard for my money and I wanted a fresh start with my son.
You only live once and since you don't splurge on a regular basis, go get that ring and enjoy it. You deserve happiness.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
tryingagain74 (original poster member #33698) posted at 3:12 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
Well, that's my dilemma. I'm really, really, reeeeeeeeeeally practical about most everything. I love wearing rings, but they're either gifts or cheap ones that I bought at places like craft fairs. I buy things secondhand for the most part.
So, OIAL, you are NOT helping. You were supposed to post that you bought a Harley or a gigantic, flat-screen TV!
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
tryingagain74 (original poster member #33698) posted at 3:13 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
Thank you, lieshurt!
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 3:18 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
I bought a cheap 7" tablet. I plan on buying two more motorcycles (I already have a '65 Honda 150 and my brother has a '62 Honda 305 I'm going to buy off of him. I also want a big touring bike to use when I have time off of work and am thinking about saving for a Yamaha Royal Star Venture). Aside from that, I have my eye on a trailer out in the boonies that one of my Mom's husband's friends rents for $275/month (compared to the $1400 I'm paying until the end of this month on my mortgage, that's a bargain) so I can save up some money and start gambling on the stock market.
tryingagain74 (original poster member #33698) posted at 3:21 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
There we go! A motorcycle post! Thanks, h0peless!
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 3:28 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
I bought a DSLR and zoom lens as my NB present to myself, during the divorce. I've since upgraded the camera body, as a birthday present to myself.
My other big purchase after the divorce was a car. I didn't intend to buy one quite as soon as I did, but my van got totaled in a wreck and I didn't have a choice. But I bought a car I wanted, instead of settling for something older and less expensive.
There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown
OnceInALifetime ( member #26023) posted at 3:28 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
OK, let me try again.
I bought a new mattress because the old one smelled like mildew.
Bought desks for my kids to do homework on.
Bought my kids laptops for their studies.
Oh, alright! I took my kids on a Mediterranean cruise last summer. Happy now?
tryingagain74 (original poster member #33698) posted at 3:34 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
OIAL...
I suppose that a new mattress is a splurge if you spent your whole life sleeping on [ETA: that one mildewed mattress]. Perhaps that was your experience, and I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
The cruise, however, that would work for my purposes. "Well, OIAL went on a cruise! A ring is no big deal in comparison!" I'll just pretend that you went on one even if that's not true.
inconnu, do you take pictures for work or for fun? I have friends on FB who are professional photographers, and I love looking at their work.
[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 9:37 PM, June 25th (Tuesday)]
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
kernel ( member #27035) posted at 3:38 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
Oh yeah, but not in a good way. One of the ways I self-medicated after D-day was shopping. I'll be paying off those debts for several years yet. I went a little crazy trying to keep the same lifestyle I had with two incomes, on my one, much lesser income. I rationalized it by telling myself I didn't want youngest DD to do without anything just because her father went off to la-la land. I didn't buy anything crazy, but both DD and I have enough clothing and shoes for a family of 10. We went on expensive vacations on her college breaks. I'm still ashamed of it.
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
OnceInALifetime ( member #26023) posted at 3:42 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
Totally true, went on the cruise. And yup, a ring is a trifle by comparison.
Which reminds me. My intent was to toss the old wedding ring into the Mediterranean Sea, but that seemed far too glorious an end for that monstrosity, so it never made the journey. The blasted hunk of metal is still hanging around in my kitchen cupboard. I'd better get rid of it before Gollum comes looking.
tryingagain74 (original poster member #33698) posted at 3:47 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
OIAL, why would my XWH want anything to do with your wedding ring?
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
OnceInALifetime ( member #26023) posted at 3:47 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
^^^
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 3:50 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
I went to Israel with my mom. I don't regret that trip at all.
I also traded in my engagement ring for a killer pair of diamond studs, and bought a new SUV.
Yeah, it was a bit much....but damn, was it fun!
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 3:51 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
Hey trying... I got a ring. Does that help?
Honestly, it wasn't horrendously expensive by jewelry standards... it was $88... but it was a lot to me.
In fact, here it is:
I like more non-traditional things. Obviously.
Anyway, I felt bad about spending the money at the time but now I'm really glad I did. So my recommendation is go for it. Life is too short.
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:58 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
The cruise, however, that would work for my purposes. "Well, OIAL went on a cruise! A ring is no big deal in comparison!" I'll just pretend that you went on one even if that's not true.
I went on a cruise AND bought a NB ring while we were docked in Curacao. Do I win a prize?
ETA: nanners - LOVE that ring!
[This message edited by nowiknow23 at 10:03 PM, June 25th (Tuesday)]
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Whalers11 ( member #27544) posted at 4:15 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
I bought a brand new car for my 30th birthday, which was about 1 year into my NB.
Also have been taking one nice week long vacation every year since 2010, which I never did while with my ex...
h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 4:22 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
Speaking of rings, I was packing stuff up to move this weekend and I found this really cool silver and onyx ring that my best friend gave me about 10 years ago. I polished it up and started wearing it. I figure that if I'm ever stranded somewhere and about to starve, I can sell it and get some food.
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 4:31 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
Oh hell yes.
Got a beautiful silver and red amber ring and spent the same amount having it resized. I hardly ever wear it. Bad....
Between 2010 (when the House of Pain sold) and 2012 I took about $10K worth of healing vacations to the Oregon Coast, Niagara on the Lake, a couple of shorter staycations and the biggie last year, 3.5 weeks hanging around Portugal, Dublin and London after raiding my ex's frequent flyer account for a business-class trip to Heathrow. (Had that written into the separation agreement: NEWS FLASH: airmiles are a marital asset people!)
Cheaper than therapy I reckon, and I didn't buy the red Miata.
[This message edited by FaithFool at 10:33 PM, June 25th (Tuesday)]
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
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