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rachelc (original poster member #30314) posted at 2:32 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
is exhausting, makes me ravenously hungry but somehow nauseous...
at any rate, it's helped so much. what I think about myself is more important than what I think of him. If I keep thinking this and trust my gut, things will become very clear and there will come a time when I know what I need to do.
He'll never be able to do anything else but behave. There will be no looking in the dark corners of the soul. i'll have to decide if this is good enough for me.
DixieD ( member #33457) posted at 4:01 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
Glad to hear it's helping you rachel. I benefited from it a lot. It help me become unstuck, less angry and calm my mind.
I'd walk out with the strangest sensations and exhausted. It's a brain workout 
happierdays ( member #38537) posted at 5:30 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
I started EMDR a few weeks ago, it's been a surreal experience. I'm sometimes shocked by the strength of emotions that come out and it has helped me feel less anxious. I'll be happy when we're done working on my past issues and able to focus on the the issues surrounding WH's infidelity.
Me - 40 something
WH - 40 something
Dday - Oct 7, 2012
Dday 2 - June 4, 2013
Married - 12 years
2 DD
Kelany ( member #34755) posted at 6:32 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
I've been seriously looking into this.
BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
NoTriangles ( member #35985) posted at 8:06 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
I started recently also. It's is mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting.
I don't always look forward to it and I usually don't want to do anything afterwards. But I think I am starting to feel the beginning of indifference and apathy that I have been needing so much.
Good luck, all!
Me: Finding my SunlightHim: Traitor in my FoxholeLet go or get dragged.
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 9:00 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013
Oh Rachel I was so happy to read this. I am glad you are finding some peace from this madness.
Focusing on myself and my healing benefited me way more than worrying about whether my WH was healing and changing himself.
Like you said in the end and when we have our SELF back we can better decide if this is the life for us.
I may have to give this EMDR a try 
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 3:01 PM, June 27th (Thursday)]
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
Ascendant ( member #38303) posted at 4:52 PM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
My therapist recommended this for me... Willing, but a little scared. Can anyone (here or in PM) explain to me what the process is like?
rachelc (original poster member #30314) posted at 5:18 PM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
facepunched: I use electronic tappers I hold in my hand. She leads me through various exercises. The first thing that is done is establishing a calming place.
Also, I put the more disturbing things I couldnt' yet deal with in a tupperware container and put in on the tundra in Alaska - figuratively speaking, of course.
i unpacked one of those issues last week.
I also sit around the kitchen table at my Mom's house with some of my selves at different ages and we give me compassion or whatever is needed.
It's a very visual experience for me...
others can chime in.
When something comes to me that is important then she activates the tappers.
They have helped me minimize disturbing things as well. There are a couple I don't want to get rid of completely as I feel remembering some of the things that happened protect me. But, the disturbances have weakened.
Lucky ( member #6864) posted at 6:29 PM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
It's an amazing process and worked wonders for me too! I did come out of the sessions very tired and HOSTILE.
put in on the tundra in Alaska
Rachel darlin' I'll safe guard it for you sweetie.
♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥
Chefj9 ( member #38604) posted at 9:44 PM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
It's an amazing process and worked wonders for me too! I did come out of the sessions very tired and HOSTILE.
I started EMDR yesterday and had the same reaction. My therapist said I was still very numb. Today I feel agitated and impatient.
ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 26,16, 15 and 13
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere
heforgotme ( member #38391) posted at 9:46 PM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
EMDR rocks. It has helped me so much although I can't for the life of me tell you why.....
D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry
starstruck ( member #29547) posted at 1:33 PM on Sunday, June 30th, 2013
I am starting EMDR--working on my safe place and calming techniques. I am also reading the book by Francine Shapiro (the mother of EMDR) "Getting Past Your Past".
Hoping this works!!
DDay 7/29/2010
Am hoping to reconcile!! Am I crazy or what?
If we all did the things we are capable of doing we would literally astound ourselves-Thomas Edison
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