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I'm just mean anymore!

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 luv_lost (original poster member #24621) posted at 10:02 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013

While catching up with a good friend of mine/former coworker over lunch the other day, she asks me how things are going. I tell her about the unending emotional rollercoaster and that he has been doing what he needs to do, etc etc etc. I then show her pics from my son's first birthday day and she notices in one particular pic, that WH has an ice pack...um...between his legs (while sitting in a chair). She asks what was up with that?

My response? "If he's gonna act like a dog, then I'm gonna to treat him like a dog. He got neutered."

She practically died laughing, said I was a mean bitch but absolutely right...now mind you, I haven't said something like that to anyone else...I still am "trying" to treat WH with dignity and respect although I struggle with that...and that's a personal flaw of mine. I'm working on it. I felt bad for all of half a second, but ever since 2nd DDay, I'm just pissed off....ALL the time. I feel like such a mean person anymore....not that I was particularly "nice" before but not like this!

Anyone else struggling with this??

BW (me) 31
WH 33
DS1 8 yrs.
DS2 1 yr.

Anniversary 6/09/04
DDay 6/27/09
Wedding 3/15/12
DDay2 5/5/13

presently working towards...well i don't know anymore...

posts: 155   ·   registered: Jun. 29th, 2009   ·   location: Philly, PA
id 6389664
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Lifechange ( member #28837) posted at 10:33 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013

Luv_lost, I know what you mean.

I pretty much left the human race for 5 1/2 years after d-day, except for family, and then it was a free flow of snarky comments, no restraint.

Now, I feel like I might want to rejoin humanity. Maybe make a friend. . .

These days I try to treat FWH respectfully. Venomous outbursts are rare. Not absent, but rare.

All of that emotion of betrayal must be dealt with and worked out with time.

posts: 132   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2010
id 6389714
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 10:44 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013

Oh gods. Last Saturday, I had my LARS T-Shirt on (large animal rescue) while FWH and I were picking up a rotortiller. Some guy jokingly asked me, what the largest animal was that I had ever rescued, and I replied, a pregnant cow down a well. Then he nodded his head at FWH and asked if I had rescued him. Without even thinking, I said that I was considering putting him down for being too damaged to rescue.

Everyone in the repair shop howled with laughter except for FWH and I. Imagine that ...

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6389726
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loveisareddress ( member #36474) posted at 11:45 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013

From Delores Claiborne:

Vera Donovan: Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive.

Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.

posts: 449   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2012
id 6389786
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Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 4:46 AM on Friday, June 28th, 2013

Lol I made my ex get neutered after the first DD of a PA, as well.

My reasoning it was bad enough to do this crap to me, but to do it to your kids that is beyond cruel you are supposed to protect their mother, we are gonna fix this that you can't do this anymore children.

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

posts: 1530   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6390132
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