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Akers2 (original poster new member #39597) posted at 3:44 PM on Saturday, June 29th, 2013
This morning I begged my my WH not to go into work because I was having a rough morning. (not to mention they still work together) He said I'm "obsessed" with this and it has to stop. HE'S tired of talking about every minute of every day. It's only been about 2 weeks. I saw remorse from him for about 3 days where he cried and said he'll do whatever it takes. Now he thinks I'm "obsessed". I don't know what to do...I can't go back to Ohio...my family is not prepared to take on my problem along with a new baby. I'm so afraid something bad is going to happen to me and baby because of this and NOBODY cares. I think I'm finally realizing what a selfish bastard my husband is and I need a way out of this. I can't afford a lawyer right now either...I just want my baby safe and away from all of this. It's so unfair :( 
isadora ( member #29130) posted at 4:03 PM on Saturday, June 29th, 2013
What exactly do you fear could happen to you and the baby?
Begging your WH will not help. I know this ia tough but take deep breath. Focus on what actions you can take to help your situation. Do a consultation with a lawyer (most consults are free). Knowledge is power.
Focus on what actions you want him to take and what you can do if he does not follow through.
Crying and telling he will do whatever it takes is not remorse. Mine did that too, the sentiment is nice but he needs to back it up with actions
[This message edited by isadora at 10:15 AM, June 29th (Saturday)]
Me: BW Him: who cares
Divorced: 4/2015
2 DDs and 2DSs
Who knows how many affairs at this point
Multiple D-Days
I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 4:12 PM on Saturday, June 29th, 2013
That wasn't remorse..it was regret..and he was probably crying for himself because his "fun" was over.
Tell him it takes 3-5 years to heal from this shit. 2 weeks? Tell him to man the fuck up.
He needs to find another job..NC is essential to your healing and R.
Is he doing *anything* to show you he wants to R?
Is he transparent? Do you have full access to all of his accounts and his cell?
Will he answer your questions without blaming and anger?
Has he been tested for STD's?
Maybe you could leave and visit your family just to get a break? Only don't tell him that. As long as he knows you're stuck,nothing will change.
ETA: I just read your profile. He thinks she is "sweet,caring,and unselfish??" She is a fucking nasty whore who is fucking a married man..a newly married man with a baby. Selfish is the very least of what she is.
[This message edited by confused615 at 10:15 AM, June 29th (Saturday)]
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
doggiediva ( member #33806) posted at 4:14 PM on Saturday, June 29th, 2013
I am wondering the same thing, what will happen to you and your baby?
If he doesn't want to talk and discuss M and A (at a set time and place for a set amount of time), then don't stuff your feelings down for the sake of acting normal..
IMHO a 180 is needed..Your WH at this point in time with this attitude that you describe is un remorseful..Because he is talking to you in an un remorseful, disrespectful and controlling manner, don't give him the perks and benefits of being married to you..
Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite
63 years young..
EasyDoesIt ( member #29514) posted at 7:00 PM on Saturday, June 29th, 2013
Tell him you'll get over it just as soon as he un-fucks the whore.
Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.
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