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Lisa2You (original poster new member #39764) posted at 8:24 PM on Monday, July 8th, 2013
I guess that should be Happy??? Anniversary. I've been married for 30 years today. I could watch the video, but why? To see the promises we made that only I kept? To see the drastic difference between then and now? Why torture myself? He has a favorite saying, "It is what it is." And it certainly is.
A few weeks ago our youngest son graduated from HS. In a few weeks, we'll be grandparents for the first time. And in the middle is our 30th anniversary. Sadly, today all it means is that I had a good marriage for less than 11 years, and spent the rest with a giant broom sweeping the shit under the rug.
But I don't plan to have a pity party today. H is out of town (yes, on our 30th anniversary), so tonight is girls night. Most of them have no idea how significant this day is...that's the way I want it.
But I'm not as strong as I sound. As I write this, I'm thinking about telling everyone I'm sick and just sitting at home. Geesh! How did a nice (and sane) girl like me end up such a freakin' mess? ~L
He had a long-term affair. I found out 5-years after. We're divorcing after 30 years of marriage (10 of them happy ones). I'm just trying to find my way.
MartlArts ( member #36130) posted at 8:41 PM on Monday, July 8th, 2013
((Lisa))
Please don't cancel your night out w/friends. Push yourself out the door. I promise you'll be glad you did.
excerpt from an awesome quote "Forgiveness - the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past."
Blameitontherain ( member #37476) posted at 8:51 PM on Monday, July 8th, 2013
Go out! With friends or by yourself if you don't feel like having a group setting. I completely understand avoiding friends sometimes. I avoid because I sometimes too consumed with the negative thoughts and don't want to be that person also complaining about their H.
Yesterday was my 11th anniversary. I did not want to celebrate. WH could not understand this. Of course he wanted to. I kept my vows, he didn't, but I still stayed so wahoo! For him!!! Not so much for me. He asked if I am always going to to avoid that date and never celebrate. I have no clue but cut me some slack and let me be sad on the first anniversary since dday.
I went out by myself. It was nice to have some me time. Please do something. Celebrate the person of integrity that you are.
callmecrazy ( member #38765) posted at 9:07 PM on Monday, July 8th, 2013
Go out...if they are all your friends...let it out and toast to 30 years of you being amazing despite the dead weight you have had around you!
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