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hopefulmother (original poster member #38790) posted at 3:15 AM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
In the EA my H gave the "best" of himself to the leech and her BFF for three months. I got all the "shit" that was left over.
No wonder they were all smitten with each other. Anyone would be attracted to a false identity. He never shared the "real" him. The man I know, accepted, and loved faults and all.
It just sucks that so much is destroyed for their "best foot forward and only that foot" for three months. F*($ their fantasy world.
They still have their fantasy identities of each other. I am left with the changed man. The cheater.
Still waiting for Karma to hit the leeches. For the sake of my M, I will continue to hate them and be disgusted by my H.
I hate that he doesn't hate these women that hurt me and my children. He says he feels nothing. To me, that means he still believes these women are good people that just happened to chase a M man.
Why can't WS do the world a favor and hate the APs when the A are over.
Me-BW 44
WH-44 zugzwang
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends since 1993
Married 2004 with 2 children
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.
MartlArts ( member #36130) posted at 4:12 AM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
((Hopeful)). EAs suck. Attention that should be yours, focused elsewhere.
excerpt from an awesome quote "Forgiveness - the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past."
circlingthedrain ( member #25733) posted at 12:40 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
Sorry you are struggling.
I wanted to point out that there is a saying around here that the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. If what your WH is saying is true, I think it is positive step in the right direction.
I much prefer that my FWW be indifferent to the OM - not caring if he lives or dies rather than hate him. Hate requires too much mind space & focus.I want him not to exist as far as we are concerned.
BH (me), 53
FWW (Her) 55
DD18, DS15
D-Day 12/23/2007
R going well
Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then --- Bob Seger
ionlytalkedtoher ( member #39802) posted at 12:49 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
its how it was for me too. he would be nice to her on the phone emails etc...but the whole time he came home from work he was so mean to me for no reason at all. i was pg too. He would come home from work and snap at me for no reason at alleven from of his friends. So many of them asked me. what is going on with him??? I didn't know what to say. I just said, I guess stress from work. But he was so mean the whole time. I would be purposely nice like one convo:, "honey do you want to watch tv"? he replied, "why would I want to watch tv with you"?
I had no idea what to do/say. everything I said was wrong. Then, I would just cry all day when he wasn't looking.
silverhopes ( member #32753) posted at 6:37 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
Has he acknowledged what he did? Does he own that he put all that effort into his "best foot forward" for the APs when he could have been putting it toward his M with you?
Where is he putting that energy now? Is he trying to fix himself? Is he showing that attentiveness to your M?
Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.
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