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Divorce/Separation :
Not where I wanted to be but here I am...

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 BetrayedinMN (original poster member #20970) posted at 12:26 AM on Sunday, July 14th, 2013

Seems like forever since I have been on here and it probably has. Long story short...10/10/10 found out about affair with co-worker. Initially I believed him when he said it was emotional not physical. We entered MC right away but had a lot of difficulty in R. Last September I discovered he was still contacting/talking/texting her every day...all day long. October I got served with papers and divorce was final end of April.

Since that time, it's been difficult. The night before he moved out, he forced himself on me...he came back the day he moved out and beat on my door. He is constantly insulting me, threatening me..it's so hard. We share the kids 50/50. Wish I had never agreed to it.

Anyway, I've been isolating myself so I thought I would come back here and give it a try...get support and offer support.

Me 43

XH 42

Dday #1 (EA) 2008

Dday #2 (EA) 2010

DDay #3 (EA) 9-2-12

3 kids (17, 12 and 10)

Was served divorce papers on 10/30/12

Divorced 4/30/13

Me - 43
XH 42 (A's with co-workers)
Dday #1 (EA) 2008
Dday #2 (EA) 2010
DDay #3 (EA) 9-2-12

Was served divorce papers on 10/30/12
D final 4/30/13

posts: 240   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2008
id 6407142
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 12:48 AM on Sunday, July 14th, 2013

Welcome back. You have found a great pleace. I am sorry he is being such a big fat jerk to you.

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 6407155
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Elaine2012 ( member #36099) posted at 12:49 AM on Sunday, July 14th, 2013

(((BetrayedinMN))). I just want you to know you've been heard. SI has been a life saver for me you will get the support you need. Just post as often as you need to. I'm sorry you've had to deal with a terrible situation.

Me- 60 ish
WH-no longer relevant
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 3 SIL, 6 grandchildren

posts: 303   ·   registered: Jul. 12th, 2012   ·   location: I'm surrounded by majestic mountain ranges
id 6407157
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 12:57 AM on Sunday, July 14th, 2013

I'm sorry you're here, but we're a great bunch.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6407162
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 BetrayedinMN (original poster member #20970) posted at 12:25 PM on Sunday, July 14th, 2013

Thanks everyone. Glad to be back

Me - 43
XH 42 (A's with co-workers)
Dday #1 (EA) 2008
Dday #2 (EA) 2010
DDay #3 (EA) 9-2-12

Was served divorce papers on 10/30/12
D final 4/30/13

posts: 240   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2008
id 6407427
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fraeuken ( member #30742) posted at 3:38 PM on Sunday, July 14th, 2013

Sorry you are here but given the circumstances I think this is the most AWESEOME place you can find to share. Stay strong!

Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

posts: 1334   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6407561
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phmh ( member #34146) posted at 3:38 PM on Sunday, July 14th, 2013

(((Betrayed)))

Welcome back. What do you mean that he forced himself on you? Remember that you can call the police. It may be helpful for you to call a domestic violence hotline so you know what your options are. There is absolutely no need for you to subject yourself to any abuse or intimidation from him!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 6407563
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 5:29 PM on Sunday, July 14th, 2013

(((BetrayedinMN)))

What phmh said. If there are steps you can take to alleviate your fear and anxiety around him, please do. If that means calling the cops or a domestic violence hotline, please do. That fucker should be leaving you the fuck alone.

Keep posting.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6407645
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