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AceKnight (original poster new member #39832) posted at 7:29 AM on Friday, July 19th, 2013
After reading some of the postings that are in the forum, I took the opportunity to text my BS a message about all the trickling and tap dancing that I had been doing around the truth and gave her the cold hard truth. The message that struck me the most was that the "lies and continual lies are the real killers and not so much the acts taken".
Eventually, I want to say that I am a better man that will not hurt my BS as we choose to try and reconcile or another person this way ever again if we don't reconcile. My goal is to reconcile with my BS and live a life that is fruitful with a fading memory of this dark period in our lives. Hers darker than mine.
As I read more, I feel protected by the truth more so than harmed by what the truth may bring. Deep breath and cold hard truth. I want to remember not to take the choice away from my BS to make the decision she wants to. I didn't get her a choice to be betrayed by my selfish acts, and I want to make sure I don't act selfish now as we try to reconcile.
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 11:47 AM on Friday, July 19th, 2013
AceKnight,
That's a good start. It will take awhile for it to really sink it that the full truth is the most important thing if you want to reconcile.
Your BW is in the early stages of trying to process all this information and is in a lot of pain. Make sure ALL of it is out and stop trickling! If there is anything else, tell her now.
It took me over a year to tell my BH everything and it was a tribute to my BH's strength and willingness to stick with me when he decided to keep at R with me. He was also a member here and got a lot of support from the other members. We were lucky and we worked our asses off to make R work, but we did it.
Have you thought about writing out a timeline for your BW? That's a good way to get everything out and to give some clarity to your BW.
Keep taking steps forward and don't lie anymore about anything. That's the only way you're going to rebuild the trust that has been shattered.
Are you in IC?
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
AceKnight (original poster new member #39832) posted at 5:44 PM on Friday, July 19th, 2013
I am in IC. I have not written out a timeline for her but have gone thru my A's by the date. I just received a text that her heart is closed and she doesn't want to R.
20WrongsVs1 ( member #39000) posted at 8:13 PM on Friday, July 19th, 2013
AceKnight, don't give up all hope that she will have a change of heart.
fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
Former motto: "Fake it till ya make it." Now: "You can't win if you don't play."
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