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Newest Member: psully143

Reconciliation :
To much hate for OW

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 16forever (original poster member #37255) posted at 8:28 AM on Saturday, July 20th, 2013

Ok so does anyone get the tingle feeling when ur ws shows a lot of hatred towards AP .i don't know maybe me being just so unbelieving .how could u be so madly in love with this woman want to give up everything in ur life for her move in with her introduce her to ur patents and tell ur kids u will someday marry this woman oooo and publicly anounonce on fb she is ur woman and ur sooooo happy ....... Then come home and call her every name in the book say how fat she is and lazy I mean goodness I don't get it I like it but don't get it . I guess I am asking can they just say this as a front I don't think they are in contact (almost positive ) but its the little things like this that just make me think ...or maybe he has just cheated so much I just don't know who this man really is in short I wish my life had never gone down this path!

Me:40
Him:45
3 awesome kids and 2 grandsons

posts: 341   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2012   ·   location: Oregon
id 6414538
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beyondalllimits ( member #29253) posted at 12:59 PM on Saturday, July 20th, 2013

No wisdom, just hugs <<< >>> If you don't want to hear about the AP, just let him know... not sure I would want to hear about her at all at this point unless you are doing some kind of work around it... bal

BS (Me) 54
WS (Him) 55
DD #1 7/7/10
DD #2 11/30/10 (same OW)
Married 31 yrs, together 36 yrs

posts: 297   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2010
id 6414611
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 1:40 PM on Saturday, July 20th, 2013

It doesn't sound healthy to me. The 2 top reasons for talking about ow in this way that jump to the top of my mind are 1) the A is still ongoing and he thinks his talk will keep you in the dark, and 2) he's focusing on ow in order to avoid taking responsibility for what he's done. If he's not in IC, maybe he should be.

IC - not because something's wrong with him, but because he needs someone to help him sort out all the conflicting thoughts he has to deal with and to confront some of that thinking.

Taking responsibility - not to beat himself up, but to recognize the damage he's done to himself and his relationships.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 31129   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 6414637
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 16forever (original poster member #37255) posted at 4:03 AM on Sunday, July 21st, 2013

He doesn't talk about her a lot just sometimes when the topic comes up he just voices the hate I guess sometimes it makes me wounder

We never went to counciling all but to sessions no ic either can't afford it

Me:40
Him:45
3 awesome kids and 2 grandsons

posts: 341   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2012   ·   location: Oregon
id 6415203
This Topic is Archived
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