SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

And that word is Trigger (1000 times over!).

Wh told me of a renovation done is his department.

Ok fine...

Yesterday he texts me a picture of the finished renovation...

Yes, like I needed to SEE a place I have avoided like the plague for three years.....a picture right beside the door leading to the room where he and ow2 did the nasty Lord only knows how many times....a picture, while ya the Reno looks all nice, has sent me into a deep, dark abyss of hell!!!

I have realized that all the anger I have worked hard to work through isn't gone but has been sitting deep in the bowels of my gut just waiting to explode.

And explode it has, not outwardly though. Inside I'm on fire.

A picture. Stupid picture.

Part of my anger is at wh for sending me that picture. I have explained countless times about triggers. I have explained that I hate how he can walk into that back room every day and relive his happy times with ow2. a spank bank of memories he has. Makes me

So why on earth would he think I would want to see a picture of anything to do with that place???

Sorry...I just needed to vent.

(((DragnHeart)))

Triggers Suck! Sometimes the explosions help to purge the poison, weakening the trigger. Hope that is the case here.

Thanks for the hugs :)

Maybe I need to be exposed to the triggers more so I get desensidized to them???

It's been a long time since I saw the place...

I'm still mad at wh. Why can't he understand that things like that will upset me...

I actually did it on purpose - there are 3 songs which used to be huge trigger every time I heard them by chance on the radio - and then I downloaded them and made myself listen to them over and over - now they don't trigger anymore.

It's funny you mention songs. Wh told me that for months the same song has played every time he drives to work. I dont recall the title but it's about her catching him cheating... He said he wondered if I requested that song constantly just to be a reminder for him... (I didn't by the way lol).

I have avoided the city he works in because of the possibility of running into ow2.

She no longer works where he does but just being there, knowing people knew what was happening and seeing those people plus the actual place he and her did it made me physically sick.

Another thing that bothers me is that's pictures of that room on his phone. He says he took them to show what the stock room looked like before he left so he could tell if the other employees took the stock they were supposed to...

For me it's like he has them so he can visualize his time with ow2.

I think that I would drop a hammer on that phone. And not in the nicest way possible.

Have you talked to him about your feelings? Is it possible he showed you the picture because he knows the old place was a trigger and thinks that maybe the renovation is a sort of cleansing?

This would upset me too, because it seems insensitive to your feelings.

My wBF wants me to spend the night at his house. I tried one time, and it was horrible because I know she slept in that bed. Now I just insist that he comes to my house if he wants to see me.

I would try to explain why you don't like that room, and what it reminds you of. He should also remove the picture from his phone in my opinion.

...not the most "tuned-in", sensitive, aware of others feelings kind of guy, I'm guessing. IMO, he needs to know about how these pictures have caused you pain. I hope he will understand and apologize.

Have you talked to him about your feelings? Is it possible he showed you the picture because he knows the old place was a trigger and thinks that maybe the renovation is a sort of cleansing?

No I havent talked to him about it. We haven't really discussed A related stuff since we moved and things went to hell with his family. He's been so upset about what they did that he's not been in any mood to "talk" at all.

Well.....not to ME anyways. Found out about a conversation he had with a work rep, to personal, a great violation of boundaries... We talked about that But not in great detail.