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Must Survive (original poster member #34533) posted at 8:21 PM on Sunday, July 21st, 2013
I have been on old, unpaid. while I am not really ready to date yet, I guess I am getting confused on how they work? If you don't pay, you can't contact right? Basically you are just looking. You could wink, but again no real contact.
Now if you had a paid membership, and you contacted someone, does it tell you they are unpaid member? I guess what is the point of paying, if you find someone, email them, and you don't know if they can respond (paid) or not (unpaid).
Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorced-Let my new beginning start
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
She11ybeanz ( member #27457) posted at 9:29 PM on Sunday, July 21st, 2013
You just take that chance. But, on the upside...a lot of sites will tell you the last time that person was "online" and if it says 3+ weeks ago...its a good chance they are either inactive or unpaid. There are "some" ways to tell the difference. And, getting a response is really 50/50. Some people choose not to respond to you at all just because they aren't interested. Its cold but its part of the harsh truth of online dating. 
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 9:34 PM on Sunday, July 21st, 2013
OK Cupid is unpaid, and you can do messages back and forth. I don't know if they even have a 'paid' option.
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 9:55 PM on Sunday, July 21st, 2013
I enjoyed okcupid.com when I was dating. As Sad said, it's a free site.
Failure is success if we learn from it.
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 10:00 PM on Sunday, July 21st, 2013
You can sometimes tell if someone doesn't have a paid membership--some people write on their profiles "I'm not a paid member so I can't respond to winks or emails" or words to that effect. Some try to do a code with their email address (in code so that the computer doesn't flag it as an illegal thing). In my area, few people use OKCupid so it hasn't yielded many matches.
In my opinion, when you are ready to date, paying for a membership make sense.
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
Shockleader ( member #36827) posted at 1:43 AM on Monday, July 22nd, 2013
I have used OkCupid free and paid for about 1.5 months, and like it a lot... Lots of emails, nice dates, and I just got back from a two day "rendezvous", with a gal I met on the site.
Paid OkC gives you the ability to browse invisibly, better match tools, etc. Emails/IM's are included for both. I'm pretty sold on the site, as it seems pretty well done, and the general quality of the ladies I have been interacting with is high.
*edit added the word "day"*
[This message edited by Shockleader at 7:50 PM, July 21st (Sunday)]
D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 53
Xcheater... Who cares.
One DD 25
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!
The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...
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