This Topic is Archived
gypsybird87 (original poster member #39193) posted at 11:00 PM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
Hi everyone,
I never knew my XWH was a narcissist until I started reading on this site. I'd like to learn more and there are many books on this topic.
Can you recommend one that will help me understand and deal with the aftermath/pain of having been in a relationship with a narc? So many of the books seem to be geared toward "living with" one, or being in a relationship with one. For me that no longer applies... he's long gone, but the wounds he inflicted are still here.
Ideas?
Thanks. 
Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
brokenandconfuse ( member #39381) posted at 3:09 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
"Why is it always about you"
2DS, 2DD
BS-Me 32
WH-Him 43
DDay-All 14 years of our relationship. 3PA's, 3 one night stands, and 6 EA's and still counting as we go. Gained enough strength to face it 11/2012
Getting Divorced
Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 4:02 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."
Jer2911 ( new member #40530) posted at 5:21 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
I had a counselor recommend "The Sociopath Next Door" recently. I haven't been able to purchase it yet though.
Me: 43
WH: 47
M: 20 yrs Together 24
4 kids: 13, 15, 15, 17
DD: 6/24/13 PA
Status: Separated. WH living with OW.
phmh ( member #34146) posted at 12:52 AM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
Though not specifically about breaking up with an NPD, "Getting Past Your Breakup" helped me.
I found it helpful to learn a ton about NPD/ASPD as it helped me realize that what happened in my marriage wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could have done to achieve a different outcome.
"The Sociopath Next Door" was helpful, as were "Emotional Vampires" and "Narcissistic Lovers."
When a specific passage really spoke to me, I wrote it down (on paper in a journal, as well as saved as an e-mail draft) so I could reread as necessary to help me through this.
I know there were more books that were helpful -- I'll try to remember to check the list of books I read and repost. But I found a bunch of them by seeing other recommended books on amazon.
You can get these at your library if funds are low.
Good luck recovering -- it can be done!!!
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
PhoenixRisen ( member #35912) posted at 8:43 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
Narcissistic Lovers: How to Cope, Recover and Move On Paperback
you can read the first chapter on Amazon
http://www.amazon.com/Narcissistic-Lovers-Cope-Recover-Move/dp/0882822837#reader_0882822837
gypsybird87 (original poster member #39193) posted at 6:56 AM on Sunday, September 22nd, 2013
I just happened to look in here and saw these responses. Thanks! When no one responded initially I just continued looking on amazon until I found "Narcissistic Lovers". Ordered it immediately and it has been a tremendous help. I already had "Getting Past Your Breakup" and its great too.
I will check out the titles you guys have mentioned.
Thanks again!
Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
ChoosingHope ( member #33606) posted at 5:03 AM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
Splitting was the most helpful book to me.
I also liked the Narcissist Next Door. I'm now reading The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists. It's good.
This Topic is Archived
