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wanttofeelwhole (original poster member #31830) posted at 11:31 PM on Sunday, July 28th, 2013
I keep searching this site for I don't know what. I have no more anger, no real feeling at all. It's almost as if I'm numb. I think I love my FWH, but, and I say this, do not feel in love with him. I'm not the slightest bit frightened of divorce. I'm not den sure I would care. I have so many wishes, but don't see any of them coming true. This being the case, we have no future. I feel like we are just prolonging the inevitable. Is this a stage? Is it normal to reach a point when you feel nothing? I do feel sadness sometimes, but its more about the lose than the A. It almost as if the A has become the excuse. I feel like maybe I even feel disconnected on this site.
Sorry I don't edit the typos
Love is giving someone the power to destroy you...but trusting them not to.-Unknown
For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth.-Bo Bennett
Memory is a complicated thing, a rel
wifeno2 ( member #31529) posted at 11:36 PM on Sunday, July 28th, 2013
Possibly the plain of lethal flatness. I have experienced it briefly-and at the time it was a welcome relief from the pain. But it didn't last long..
Me-BW (45)
Him-WS (42)
DS 19 (prior relationship)
DS-8
DDay #1- 10/22/2010 EA/PA with MOW coworker
Dday#2:11/17/2010 beginning secret emails with potential OW#2
DDay #3 11/22/2010 still seeing OW#1
Too many DD's to count: Now up to OW #6.
wanttofeelwhole (original poster member #31830) posted at 12:08 AM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
I can't figure out what scares, or scared, me more. The fear that I would never get past the pain, or the fear of of never getting past this feeling of indifference.
Sorry I don't edit the typos
Love is giving someone the power to destroy you...but trusting them not to.-Unknown
For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth.-Bo Bennett
Memory is a complicated thing, a rel
krazy8516 ( member #40076) posted at 12:12 AM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
Is it bad that I am jealous of your indifference? I feel like my husband is indifferent, and if I could be too it would be so much easier to call it quits. While your nothingness upsets you, I have been striving to feel nothing. Is that normal??
me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day
married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m
"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."
wanttofeelwhole (original poster member #31830) posted at 1:22 AM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
Krazy
I have to say, in the beginning I would have given anything to feel this way, but at almost three years it scares me. The pain, anger and confusion was so intense for so long I never thought things would level off bi even considered meds and I won't even take an Advil. There is no secret pill for the pain, only time somehow makes it bearable. I receive so much joy from my children. I love my knew job, even though it it far from perfect. But my marriage does nothing for me. Last weekend my FWH screwed up, not in an A kind of way, but in a stupid husband way. The next day I took my daughter to the dentist, came home, packed a bag and went to my friends until about 11 pm. We swam went to my exes BBQ, even went out for a little bit. I came home went to sleep and never said a word. I just don't have the energy or desire to fight. He knows he's losing me, but doesn't have the ability to fight for us and I have lost the desire. It scares me to feel so little for someone who used to mean the world to me.
Sorry I don't edit the typos
Love is giving someone the power to destroy you...but trusting them not to.-Unknown
For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth.-Bo Bennett
Memory is a complicated thing, a rel
Ixion ( new member #39183) posted at 4:02 AM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
I am only in this situation for four months, but I am feeling exactly the same. I know how I should feel and what I should do, but I just dont have the energy to make the effort or care. There just isnt any point. I dont fight or shout or love or laugh or cry. I dont want to get divorced, but if it happens then it happens, but I also cant see a future out of the dead end that this situation has created. I know that continuing like this isnt helping anyone without any decision or way forwards, but I just dont care.
[This message edited by Ixion at 10:03 PM, July 28th (Sunday)]
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