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She11ybeanz (original poster member #27457) posted at 3:52 PM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
So...there is a guy on the O.L.D site that I would definitely be interested in if he lived near me but he is about 4 hours away in Washington D.C....
He is here on business this week until Weds (according to his email) but said that maybe we could get together Weds night...??
I'm not sure about this one. It could be harmless but is it worth a try? Or not?
I would hate to have to go pepper-spray-ninja-redhead on his ass if he thinks he is getting a last minute out of town booty call.... NOT HAPPENING...
Thoughts please.... 
[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 9:53 AM, July 29th (Monday)]
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 3:55 PM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
Setting aside the red flags about married men who date while on business trips, would you be interested in a long distance relationship? Would it be remotely feasible or desirable with your toddler, schedule, finances, etc.?
If you just want a fun date, sure, why not go? But if you are looking for a relationship, you should weigh whether you'd be interested in even bothering to get to know someone (anyone, not just this guy) who lives 4 hours away.
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
She11ybeanz (original poster member #27457) posted at 4:05 PM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
Very true.... I certainly can't come visit him on a whim..... and I absolutely DESPISE long distance relationships. I've done it before and I hated it. I guess that's my answer in of itself! 
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 4:37 PM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
I'm taking a course in project management right now, and one of the concepts that the professor focuses on frequently is called a "done statement". For a project, the done statement tells you when you have arrived at the end of the project. It also directs the work being done: if a task does not directly help to advance the project toward the done statement, that task is not included in the project.
OLD isn't exactly a project, but I think it's relevant to recognize your done statement (I have gotten the impression that for you it's an equality based relationship with someone to whom you are attracted both mentally and physically and who fits into your lifestyle) - and then only include "tasks" (i.e. communication, dates, etc.) that will or have the potential to move you toward your done statement.
This guy doesn't have the potential to do that. The smoker runner guy you kissed doesn't have the potential to do that. The poofer did. It's a simple way to filter - does he have the potential to move you to where you want to be, or not?
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 4:52 PM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
^^^Love this concept AMA^^^thanks to you (and to your professor!)
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
She11ybeanz (original poster member #27457) posted at 5:47 PM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
Very true Ama! Very very true....
Stupid POOFER!!! 
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
cmego ( member #30346) posted at 6:06 PM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
Right or wrong...when I get those type emails "I'm in town for business...I'll take you wherever you want to go for dinner!", I ignore.
My assumption is they are married.
Ama uses a very good analogy...keep your eyes on "the prize". The relationship you want. 
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 6:32 PM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
I have gotten a few of these too. I always think "whattaheck?". I am not located in an area where your average person would be 'coming into town for work".
Their messages are always like "Thought it would be fun to be shown around by someone who is familar with the area..."
Ummm - Nope, I am not a tour guide.
She11ybeanz (original poster member #27457) posted at 6:34 PM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
Ummm - Nope, I am not a tour guide.
They want a tour alright... but I'll bet its not your town they have in mind....
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
idkam ( member #18375) posted at 7:56 PM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
Ama- love your analogy of the 'done statement"...
ShellyB- gurl you know its a booty call... 
2015 It's time to get Fit, Fine, and more Fabulous. Come and join me.
GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 8:01 PM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
and I absolutely DESPISE long distance relationships. I've done it before and I hated it.
Do you have a specific range (location) listed on your profile? If so, I'd consider that a boundary of sorts.
Just because someone asks you out, doesn't mean you have to give it any serious consideration- ESPECIALLY if it already crosses your "boundaries" (ie location, smoking, etc).
You know what you need to do. 
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
She11ybeanz (original poster member #27457) posted at 8:13 PM on Monday, July 29th, 2013
Yeah....like I've said before.....I should probably get my 10 cats now and call it a day!
I'm so close to taking a break from this online dating crap.... people I'm interested in aren't interested in me and vice versa.... dating is just too dang complicated. ICK!
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
I.will.survive ( member #34677) posted at 11:59 AM on Tuesday, July 30th, 2013
You need to weed these people out!
Yes, it's a booty call/red flag whatever you label it.
Don't respond or give thought to the men who don't fit STRICTLY into your wants and needs.
You are not going to settle. You don't have time for that! Your free time is limited. Make your dates count.
Remember, these men don't know you at all. They are throwing a wide net and hoping to reel something in. Be picky.
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