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dlmos (original poster member #36839) posted at 2:33 PM on Tuesday, July 30th, 2013
Well the last of the financial ties have been cut with xWW! She had been procrastinating about changing over utilities into her name and I wasn't making a big deal about it because I was being too nice... That changed when I got an email the other day from mOM#1's wife, who doesn't know we divorced, stating the A had started back up. So basically back when I gave xWW some money to pay the phone bill I was funding the A, fantastic. Well that was the last straw, this was the only stipulation I put on helping her through the summer (so the kids wouldn't have to do day-care) and yet she is back at it. I told her she had until the end of the week to change them over or I would cut them off. Surprisely she actually did it!
While I had hoped we could maintain a "friendly" divorce I have no desire anymore. I made it very clear she is never to ask me for assistance of any kind or contact me for any reason other than something involving the children. It's not even that I'm mad or triggering, just done. More than anything I feel sorry for mOM's wife, still living with all that mess. I did confirm for her she was correct, xWW actually admitted it, but just wow...
*edited for typos*
[This message edited by dlmos at 8:35 AM, July 30th (Tuesday)]
BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6
Divorced
LadyQ ( member #32847) posted at 2:52 PM on Tuesday, July 30th, 2013
That must feel so good! Glad you're making progress...
Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 3:25 PM on Tuesday, July 30th, 2013
Did you tell her why you suddenly pushed this?
Just curious.
She's a real piece of work.
AJ's MOM
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
dlmos (original poster member #36839) posted at 6:31 PM on Tuesday, July 30th, 2013
Yes, I called and confirmed the A with her for the mOM's wife, then told her that we would have no further contact beyond the children from here on out. There is no misunderstanding as far as that goes. I've decided that even basic contact with her is just more trouble than it's worth. She did attempt to engage me via text so I sent her a letter I had prepared earlier this summer lining out when it is acceptable to contact me and for what reasons. So far since then she has made a few minor attempts to use the children as an reason to open a dialog but I just give her standard NC responses once she moves off topic.
BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6
Divorced
cayc ( member #21964) posted at 8:07 PM on Tuesday, July 30th, 2013
It's shocking isn't it, when you think you know how manipulative your WS is only to find it they are even more so!
Good for you for standing your ground.
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 6:27 AM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2013
Gosh I just feel so sorry for the oBW. 
Pissed too at what a shitty example your xWW is setting for your kids. Lucky they have you for a dad. Keep up the awesome work! 
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 8:07 AM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2013
I don't know why most if not all of us need this sort of push to cut them off/out completely but I am glad you now have that final push. Do try to see it as a gift rather than the mind-fuck it feel like right now.
What a piece of work. The adage "Don't expect in D what you didn't get in your M" is so very true.
Bitch Be Gone!
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
cmego ( member #30346) posted at 11:53 AM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2013
While I had hoped we could maintain a "friendly" divorce I have no desire anymore.
Good for you! She isn't your "friend", there is no need to be "friendly".
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 1:30 PM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2013
Good job. Sometimes, we all need that slap of reality regarding what we were really married to.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:12 PM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2013
So glad you are free of that tie! Onward and upward, dlmos.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
dlmos (original poster member #36839) posted at 7:09 PM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2013
It is sad it has to be this way, but if she wasn't a train wreck I wouldn't be happily divored now right? Looking forward to NC and no more drama queen 
BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6
Divorced
Housefulloflove ( member #38458) posted at 7:17 PM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2013
Good! It sucks to have to treat someone you thought you would share your life with like that, but some people are just horrible excuses for human-beings.
You can't be "friends" with a cold-hearted POS.
Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013
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