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confused777 (original poster new member #39629) posted at 5:41 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013
So he told me last night he will call the counselor and we will go to marriage counseling. I do know about false recovery and so I am 1% optimistic.
One of the things I said 2 nights ago to him was, what would you do if our roles were reversed. He didn't answer me but I hope it got his mind churning.
I am feeling stronger and seeing my power. Now I can see if this is what I want.
Btw, he deleted all the content off his swinger profile but he couldn't figure how to delete the account. The certain are there but his pictures are gone.
Choices are easy to make, even the most difficult of choices are made in the span of a heart beat. It is coming to terms with the results of these choices which can take a very long time indeed.
In limbo
At least this fence is mine to own and
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 5:44 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013
Words are words.
Watch his actions.
((((Confused7)))))
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
TxsT ( member #39996) posted at 5:56 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013
Actions do speak louder then words....the biggest thing though is that you will get help. Through that help, and through MC you will slowly figure out if he is worth it or not.
You have taken a great step forward. Listen to your heart. It is hurt but it is not damaged so much that it doesn't know right from wrong.
T
Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)
Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 6:06 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013
This man needs IC..a lot of IC before going to MC. Going to MC with an unremorseful WS is a BAD idea.
But if you go through with it...then you need to interview the MC alone. Ask her what her view is on infidelity. Ask her how she will treat the two of you. Ask her,in the aftermath of infidelity,what approach she suggests.
MANY MC's are not qualified to counsel couples dealing with infidelity. They encourage rugsweeping or blame the marriage or the BS for the affair. If you get an MC like this..your WH will latch on to it like a baby with a bottle. It will be next to impossible for you to ever get him to understand the depth of his betrayal.
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
TxsT ( member #39996) posted at 6:13 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013
Good point Confused. We did interview our MC extensively, even though we had already figured out we were going to go forward together.
T
Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)
Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!
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