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 Mack9512 (original poster member #38619) posted at 2:54 PM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

An old high school, and current FB, friend posted this on my FB page this morning. He does not know about the A or the aftermath.

"Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace."

I'm not ready to forgive fWH yet, but I like the sentiment.

"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo

posts: 440   ·   registered: Mar. 4th, 2013   ·   location: East Coast
id 6431924
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musiclovingmom ( member #38207) posted at 3:08 PM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

I just got to the point of forgiveness. I realized that not forgiving was what was holding me back from healing, keeping me in pain. It took me 11 months, and I do everything fast. It is amazing the peace I found in myself since I took that very scary step.

posts: 1764   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2013
id 6431955
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 Mack9512 (original poster member #38619) posted at 3:18 PM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

Something is in the air today because a different FB fried posted this on my page. "Forgive. It doesn't erase their crime but why should you have to do the time. Let go of resentment." - Dodinsky

"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo

posts: 440   ·   registered: Mar. 4th, 2013   ·   location: East Coast
id 6431967
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TxsT ( member #39996) posted at 3:21 PM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

Mack....I think your friends are seeing that you are hurt and in despair. They don't know what to do for you because they don't know what it is that is hurting you but it is so great that they still reached out.

You have good friends.

T

Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!

posts: 605   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2013   ·   location: CDN
id 6431973
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shatteredheart7 ( member #39734) posted at 3:23 PM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

I have always tried to live by that motto. Sometimes it is harder to do than other times, but it is true and so worth the hard work it takes to forgive. Lately, I have been trying to teach this to my oldest dd. She has said she doesn't know if she can ever fully forgive my Dh for what he did. I asked her what she would do if it was her in my situation. Her response, "you get one chance with me, you blow it, its your loss". I told her BF of over 2 yrs, "If you really love her do not ever mess up, cause I think she really means it". I worry about her inability to forgive and asking her how she would feel if it was she who needed forgiveness doesn't work either. Her response to that is "why would I expect someone to forgive me for something I wouldn't be able to forgive them for". Ahhhh children, but that is another story...

Me~40
FWH~46
Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!

posts: 240   ·   registered: Jul. 2nd, 2013
id 6431979
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