SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Last nite me and my H went on a date ,dinner , walk in the park with ice cream it was nice sometimes it still feels a little awkward for me only because believing this is all true knowing the person who he was during The A and the past indiscretions but Iam getting better at it anyway its the end of the date we stop at a store to pick up something and he says he has ill feelings toward AP but doesn't understand how he could say what he said to her but hate her at the same time

I guess he doesn't understand what he did or why really but it spoiled my nite I didn't want her in my head or his why did he have to do that we weren't talking bout her , I think he thinks I can explain his way of thinking because I have read so much about why , how , and what causes the fog and all the other stuff that comes along with his A's I don't think he has really tried to understand why he left for her or said he loved her or why he slept with all those hookers it just turned a good nite into mind movies for me and rite now when Iam having a ruff time with it all I guess Iam asking why would he do that and why is he thinking bout her . Doesn't he need to know why he did it so it won't happen again

I am sorry your turned to A talk. We have had a lot of those. It is discouraging.

But on the other hand it does show that he is trying to figure it out in his head instead of just sweeping it away. That is encouraging. He is also trying to involve you in the process. That is a sign of building intimacy.

If it makes you uncomfortable though you have the right to set your boundary and ask him to work through it with am IC instead.

Is he seeing anyone for IC? It might be better for a third party to help him work through his issues. The questions you pose are good ones for him to find answers to, but you do not need to be his therapist.