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regret75 (original poster new member #40117) posted at 7:09 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013
And I don't blame her. I can't expect her to stay after I've destroyed her and in turn destroyed our family. I have torn her apart, I have shattered her. She is a ghost of the person she once was. And I am the cause. If our roles were reversed I would have left before now. I never knew I had it in me to hurt someone so badly and thoroughly. I have no idea how I'm going to live with myself for the rest of my life. I know I can go through the motions and be there for our kids, but other than that I am fucked. Which honestly is the least of my worries...my main concern is her and how I can possibly help her heal to become who she once was. She is beautiful. She is kind. She is everything I ever wanted and because of my own selfishness and shitty behaviors she is leaving. She put up with me during my active alcoholism for years. I was so verbally and emotionally abusive and awful. I am sick over all of it. I broke her. I broke the person I love and promised to take care of and protect. I don't need any responses to this. I just needed to vent.
FWH - me 40ish
BS - her 40ish
bunch of kids
Married 10 years
D-Day: 10/2012 & 7/29/13
NC 7/2012
Card ( member #23667) posted at 9:12 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2013
Saying a prayer for your kids, your wife and for you.
Stay the course, continue to become the man your children will need. They will have a tough road ahead and they will need the best of you.
WH (me)
BS (her)
D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007
"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!
Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin
1DumbHusband ( member #40239) posted at 6:34 AM on Wednesday, August 21st, 2013
Sending prayers your way and hoping it's not permanent!
Me: FWH 34
Her: 31 and deserving much better than I've given her (CCW82)
Married 4 years, together 6 years.
D-Day: June 17th, 2013
"Don't give up. You're married until you're not. You never know what tomorrow will bring."
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