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Militarybrat (original poster member #37303) posted at 3:39 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
Hi everyone. I have not posted in a long time.
My STBXWH and I are battling out the financial part of the divorce. It has been a year since we separated and we've been going back and forth with offers. He comes back with his demands on Friday and says that he wants his wedding ring back and his mom's wedding ring. His mom gave me her wedding ring when we got married. I had offered it to my SIL many times and told her if she ever wanted it to let me know which she always stated that she doesn't want it. I also told his mom that if we ever got a divorce I would give it back. His mom just brushed it off. When we split, I decided to keep the ring so that I could give it to my son one day when he gets married. But now it seems that she wants it back or he does! However, she doesn't look at me or talk to me and of course didn't ask me for it. They went through his atty.
My question to all of you is, if you had the ring and agreed to return it, would you mail it to her? And if you mailed it, would you put a letter with it?
I am thinking of mailing it and putting a letter in it that says, "even though your wedding ring was a gift to me, I am returning it upon your request. My intention was to keep the ring and pass it down to my son, your grandson one day when he weds."
Thoughts?
Me: BS (37) 38 now
Him: WS (38) 39 now
OW: Only 23, now 24
DS: 4
1st DD: 4/2010 (same girl)
Tried R and MC
2nd DD: 7/12/12 and my child was there!
kernel ( member #27035) posted at 3:42 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
I would mail it back to the MIL without a letter and be done with it. Personally, I would not want my son to have the ring under the circumstances. Of course, I hocked my wedding and engagement rings to pay off some divorce debt. It's not like they had any other value to me anymore.
[This message edited by kernel at 9:43 PM, August 12th (Monday)]
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 3:43 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
I think much better to return it directly to her than to him!
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:45 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
Send it to your MIL without a note. I would send it with a delivery confirmation to make sure there's no question it was received.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Militarybrat (original poster member #37303) posted at 4:21 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
I didn't think about sending it certified but that's an excellent idea! His lawyer asked that I return it to him but I said no, I would return it to his mom if i gave it back.
On a side note, the ring was not used as my official wedding band and was not blessed by our pastor. I wore it as my wedding band occasionally but mostly wore it on my right hand.
I feel like asking his mom for the 150 I gave towards the diamond she now wears on her finger even though it was a gift! Lol
Me: BS (37) 38 now
Him: WS (38) 39 now
OW: Only 23, now 24
DS: 4
1st DD: 4/2010 (same girl)
Tried R and MC
2nd DD: 7/12/12 and my child was there!
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