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gahurts (original poster member #33699) posted at 6:17 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
Not sure if this belongs here or in S/D but today starts a new day.
For the past year I've done a dance twice a month. I'd pull the SS out of my bank in cash. Drive across the parking lot to xWW's bank and deposit her SS into her checking account.
I've never been late and the one time when I would be I went out of my way to do partial autodeposits and then get the rest to her before the actual due date. The amount is too large to do electronic transfers between banks overnight - it would take 3 business days minimum which would have been a problem for her. None the less, the past few months she would text me the night before asking when I would deposit the money. Even the day I had minor surgery, she never aske dhow I felt, just when was she getting her money.
Today I made the last SS payment I will ever make! It was temporary, spelled out in the agreement for a year and I kept it to a year plus one payday past the actual date that the judge signed the decree. No more.
Starting next payday I will actually:
-pay my bills on time again
-buy a queen sized bedroom suite
-buy the kids overdue birthday presents.
-Save up to and replace the nasty carpets in the house with wood floors
-Relax because the stress is a lot less
-Actually start adding to my savings account.
Today is a really good day! 
ETA: CS will be electronically transferred the day after every payday. And by agrement I help with some or all of the costs the kids need on clothes, school supplies, etc.
And I am still paying off her van but that is electronic and the important thing is I should never get another text saying when are you depositing "MY MONEY!"
[This message edited by gahurts at 12:21 PM, August 16th (Friday)]
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
hexed ( member #19258) posted at 6:27 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
nothing more than "LIKE"! that's so good!
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 6:51 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
HOORAY!!!! I think there's definite NB material here - that you are focusing on the changes in your life this milestone will make. (ps: you left out the expenditure for procuring deep-fried butter on a stick)
Congratulations, ga!!
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 6:52 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
Woohoo!!!!
Or as Mel Gibson shouted at the end of "Braveheart": Freeeeeeedoooooooom!!!!!!!!!!
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
Thelastknight ( member #21851) posted at 6:52 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
great job!
"Pain is weakness leaving the body"
Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 8:23 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
Today is a really good day!
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 9:36 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
You have definitely taken the step to freedom !
Enjoy the peace that comes with the conclusionof SS.
Gma
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 9:47 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
I like your NB plans.
Congrats on finishing the dance!!!
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
tesla ( member #34697) posted at 11:08 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear
newnormal ( member #21925) posted at 12:09 AM on Saturday, August 17th, 2013
Way to go!!!!! Class act
And I love your plan laid out in bullets 
BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07
Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo
somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 1:12 AM on Saturday, August 17th, 2013
.. time now to start planning your next vacation!
..NO MORE ALIMONY---NO MORE ALIMONY--- HAS A NICE RING TO IT EH?
..reminds me of how i felt when i made my last mortgage payment!
Whoopie!
smy
trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!
kernel ( member #27035) posted at 1:17 AM on Saturday, August 17th, 2013
Awesome post - congrats!
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 4:05 AM on Saturday, August 17th, 2013
You have a great attitude gahurts - so glad you are moving forward to a better stage!!!
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 1:20 PM on Saturday, August 17th, 2013
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Bebba1171 ( member #33857) posted at 2:56 PM on Saturday, August 17th, 2013
Congrats GA!!
Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 54Me) / XWW 52
Two great kids that don't deserve this!
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 3:01 PM on Saturday, August 17th, 2013
I can feel the relief in your post
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
wonderingbull ( member #14833) posted at 5:06 PM on Saturday, August 17th, 2013
The shackles are removed... Time to enjoy the first days of the rest of your life!
WB
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...
James Taylor
gahurts (original poster member #33699) posted at 12:51 PM on Sunday, August 18th, 2013
Thank you everyone. It is a huge relief to be through with that.
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
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