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roses303 (original poster member #40161) posted at 7:57 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
WH forwarded me the email he got from OW's friend. The subject line was "This is Katie" and the text was "she needs to hear from you, this is killing her."
On everyone's suggestion Crickets is our response.
That isn't the issue for me now though. I was very happy with WH for forwarding it and not responding but now I'm furious.
"This is Katie" that means she expected WH to know who she was. They must have met. He knew OWs friends well enough that they would know if they just said their name WH would know them. WH never mentioned meeting her friends. WH said they would meet have a quick drink then go to the hotel. There was never any discussion about whether they shared more of their lives.
I confronted WH on this. "She was with her friend once when we met" "OW talked about Katie a lot and I knew she knew about the affair" "Why does it matter"
Why does he not understand that every little detail matters. That meeting her friends puts the affair in a different category. That every time I find out something like this my heart is broken a little more.
Me: BW - 46
Him: WH - 49
MOW: my BFF from college and good friend for 25 yrs
Married 14 years, 2 Tweens
DD: 5/20/13 2 year long EA/PAs (one 7 yrs ago and one this past year)
Status: day by day, in MC, working on R
kiki1 ( member #37184) posted at 8:38 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
(((roses)))
I understand. Its those little things they neglect to tell us that we somehow find out later on.
They do make a difference. More than likely why they dont tell us.
i wish i had more comforting words for you, just want you to know you've been heard and understood.
REally, they dont get it and probably never will.
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 8:39 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
Katie's a fucking moron. I hope she's proud of herself for enabling her whore friend. 
Sadwife222 ( member #40050) posted at 9:56 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
All those little things are like more knives plunged into our hearts. They take a sexual relationship and make it an intimate one, one that pushes us out and plants the OW more firmly in our WH life. It's hard to hear how little regard they had for us when they humiliated us more in front of even more people.
Me BW, Him WH (sosorry54)
DD 4/12/13
TT until 9/18/14
BeyondBreaking ( member #38020) posted at 10:33 PM on Friday, August 16th, 2013
He probably thought that meeting the friend was no big deal and irrelevant to yu because it is irrelevant to him. He most likely is not going to understand that it IS a big deal.
It IS a big deal because:
-It is a detail that he left out, that now you ended up finding out later. Leaving out even small details makes the BS wonder what other details are left out.
-To him, meeting friends was probably no big deal. To you, meeting friends IS a HUGE deal. That is another person who was aware of what was going on in your marriage when you were not. That is another person who partcipated in the lie. Additionally, there was personal lives shared- he knew at least one of her friends. They were more public than you lead on to believe.
-Makes you wonder who else knew and was hiding it from you.
Jana is right. Katie is an idiot and a whore-enabler. If she was a *good* friend, she would have told OW to stop her behavior at once- not keep it a secret and then participate in harassing the BS family when the affair is made public.
*disgusting*
I am so sorry roses.
I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.
"What did you expect? I am a scorpion."
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