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My Ex has been out house 2 weeks and next weekend spending weekend at a wine trail doing a race with another woman. In 20 years we have never spent weekend alone and he knows I'm so into winery and things . I'm crying

(((((strawblond)))))

Hugs to you. I know it will be a rough weekend for you, just do what you need to do to look after you.

{{{{hugs}}}}

Oh Strawblond, that seems a little thoughtless at best, and cruel at worst. It says something when they cant even find something original to do.

Just get through the weekend as best you can, treat yourself and at the end of it you will know that you can survive,

hugs to you.

I can't stop the mind movies of them in my bed and them at my restaurant and them on my boat with my son

And his knowing how I must be feeling and doing it anyway

What kind of monster can do this?

My daughter didn't go with them

She is 17 and she was home till today and now I am freaking

OW knows WH is telling me they are done but she is so easy that she opens her legs when he says oops

I have been holding out for real effort and remorse and thatis too hard for him

This web site has been saving my sanity for almost a year

Thanks

Oops sorry typing onmy phone and pressed reply to wrong topic

(((strawblond30)))

((((strawblond))))

Am I wrong to be upset , is it perfectly ok that he is doing this? Am I a cry baby ?

(((((straw))))))

No, you are not wrong to be upset and no you are not a crybaby. You are feeling your feelings. Is he right to do this? Well, to him its ok and to you its not. You are separated? and if figures, why not. Of course it doesn't seem right, why would it? But the point is that you are hurt and feeling the pain and you have every right to your feelings. I'm really sorry you are going through this.

I hate when I hear about all my XWH is doing. I am NC as much as possible and NC=No new hurts.

You asked if you were wrong to feel this way. A normal man would not drag his wife thru what yours has done to you.

So many people on here say that false R are the hardest to take, or R that are going well and then they find someone else.

On the forums, there is a topic titled "I Can Relate". There is a section for Spouses of Sex Addicts. Please check out that category so many people's story on that heading are like yours.

You have been thru alot. All that your H has done to you is emotional abuse. Please see a counselor-- our domestic violence center sees my children and I for counseling for $1.00 a visit. (and emotional abuse IS domestic violence). THe counselors at a place like this have heard stories like yours over and over,,, in fact, my counselor there was married to a Sex Addict like your h. When she finally broke free is when she went back to school and now helps other women thru the chaos that their lives have become.

(((strawblond)))

I have a hard time concentrating, but if you can download/ or check out from the library a book called Love Must Be Tough. It addresses the same stuff you've been thru. Just the first 2 chapters got me to change my actions and fast! It's totally the opposite of loving your spouse so much that you get steamrolled. IT is a quick, easy read with out many words on a page -- the author must have known that reading overwhelmes us!

Someone else on this site read a book called "How high will you jump" and overnight you could literally see how he turned the whole tide of his WWs affair with his boss.

It sounds like your WS is a serial cheater and even Dr. Laura says they can't be fixed, to run for your life.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 8:11 AM, August 18th (Sunday)]

Ugh! I am in the same boat. Ex is out doing stuff with OW that he never did with me. He was too busy complaining about how horrible I was and lazy I was and miserable I made him. I just wish I could skip past the next six months and be over this grief already.