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Newest Member: FaithGrace

The Book Club :
8 mths out and still angry?

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 niaveone (original poster member #40317) posted at 11:55 PM on Saturday, August 17th, 2013

Hi all,

I'm wondering what types of self-help books you all read that helped you get past the anger and start living for yourselves again?

I've read a few post-affair books (How to Help your Spouse Heal from Your Affair, and another one, I can't remember it's title), they both helped me and spouse at the time. I'm not looking for those, persay. I'm looking for a book that can help me work through the anger, resentment, lonely feeling I still have?

My head understands why I need to process these feelings, and I also understand the reasons behind the marital problems that we had prior to affair. I think one of those was my feeling like I wasn't being 100% engrossed in life. Just going through the motions and thinking this is it? Sort of a mid-life crisis too early in life. How do I snap out of that feeling? I'm scared to death to go backwards, and my relationship with WS IS better than it was; and I know we are in full reconciliation...I'm just lost? And scattered, which this post is a clear indicator of.

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married: 24 years
2 children
2 DDays
Reconciling

posts: 511   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2013
id 6452663
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metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 12:48 AM on Sunday, August 18th, 2013

I haven't read it, but I have seen "How Can I Forgive You" mentioned here quite a bit. It may be one to take a look at

http://janisaspring.com/?page_id=3

Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.

posts: 52157   ·   registered: Sep. 14th, 2006
id 6452727
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hailstormer ( member #35873) posted at 5:16 AM on Sunday, August 18th, 2013

I like and am still reading First Aid for the Betrayed

I have laughed out loud and cried reading this book. I also like Not Just Friends but the anger part is more covered in First Aid and you can read the first 20 pages on Amazon to see if ya like!

me(BS)-55
him(WS)-53
together 21 years
1st D-Day 4-19-10
2nd D-Day 5-3-12
married 19 years
2 kids 13-twins
Unfortunately...divorcing

posts: 123   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6452992
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NoTriangles ( member #35985) posted at 5:25 PM on Sunday, August 18th, 2013

I also liked "How Can I Forgive You."

I also found "The Dance of Anger" very informative. Author is Harriet Lerner.

Me: Finding my SunlightHim: Traitor in my FoxholeLet go or get dragged.

posts: 1260   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2012   ·   location: a state of consciousness
id 6453391
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