What LosferWords said: You are in no way "over-reacting"
I share those very same concerns with my WW. I seem to look for her actions that are "outside" of A specific situations (transparency, honesty, etc) and try to look at things on a "bigger picture" scale in hopes that she "gets it". Make sense?
As an example, if I were to catch her lying to me.... I'd be gone in a flash and she knows this. Obviously, in her A, there were a great many lies told and I would not tolerate any more dishonesty. So she is working her ass off and will be super-conscious to not allow this to occur with me.
But what about with others that she comes into contact with? Will she lie to them? If so, I see this as not "getting it". All she would have done is treat the "symptom" and not cure the "disease". It's about an ethical (or whatever you might call it) choice of RIGHT vs WRONG. That is the work that I am looking for.... wholesale changes.
Obviously with this, there are "grey area's" to this. People "lie" everyday... we all do. Some large, some small but they are always going to be there. "I can't make it to work today boss... not feeling well" when in reality you are catching a day baseball game and having lunch with friends. Where's the line? I don't know and I guess that's where communication comes in.
You obviously have an issue with what she did. She said she was going to do something and didn't follow through. Integrity is doing what you say you'll do / being where you say you'll be. You did the right thing and brought it up to her and let her know how this affected you. Hopefully, next time, she'll think about it more from your perspective and see what it does to you. That's communication.
Again, we spend so much time in R dealing with A specific situations and there is a tendency to let other things "slide" a bit. As LosferWords so eliquently put it:
"getting back to a sense of normalcy in life, and normalcy bleeds into all different areas of our lives. Friendships, family, work, etc."
I'm starting to understand why R is so difficult and why it takes as long as it does to attain. It's tentacles reach to every aspect of our lives and it takes time and effort to visit each of them.
Best of luck
[This message edited by Beautifulmind at 1:36 PM, August 19th (Monday)]