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Reconciliation :
Post nup

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 Sadwife222 (original poster member #40050) posted at 7:37 PM on Wednesday, August 21st, 2013

I'm reading this being mentioned on here. We have a pre nup. What kinds of terms are going into post nups?

Me BW, Him WH (sosorry54)
DD 4/12/13
TT until 9/18/14

posts: 167   ·   registered: Jul. 26th, 2013
id 6457573
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AStar ( member #39971) posted at 7:59 PM on Wednesday, August 21st, 2013

Terms relating to settlement should one of the partners cause the marriage to end for various reasons. Example: should it end because of proven affair, the BS can get xyz.

Me BS (41)
Him WH (45). EA and possible PA (denied)
D Day 7/21/2013
M 8 years - filing for D

**The cruelest lies are often told in silence- Robert Louis Stevenson

posts: 115   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2013   ·   location: New Zealand
id 6457599
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 8:02 PM on Wednesday, August 21st, 2013

You may find this thread helpful.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=503958

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6457604
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HurtButHopeful? ( member #25144) posted at 8:15 PM on Wednesday, August 21st, 2013

We didn't have a pre nup. Thought I didn't need one.

Post nup covers things that a mean WS would fight about in an ugly D. Our state doesn't care about A's, so they would split all assets and debts 50/50.

My post nup will make sure finances aren't split 50/50, but go more in my favor, since I gave up my career to homeschool our children on the promise of fidelity and an intact M until the day one of us died.

It protects my (small) inheritance, and the house we bought using part of it (after A.) Our state would make us sell the house and split it 50/50. Post nup says the house is 100% mine, not his. I would have to sell it if we D, since I couldn't keep up the payments, but wouldn't have to split the equity with him.

It also lists jointly approved credit cards. (Credit cards are no longer jointly owned, however.) It says those credit cards listed, with balances up to $X,000, are split 50/50, anything above is the card's owner's responsibility. Any cards or debts not referenced in the post nup are solely the responsibility of the person whose name is on it. This is because people in an A mentality can rack up debt to support the A.

I don't have my post nup finalized, because we can't afford the legal fee right now. WH suggested I pay for it with part of my inheritance. I shouldn't have ever needed it, and I'm not going to use my inheritance to set it up.

Everyone's case is different. You can sometimes find a lawyer who will discuss it with you for free. In my case I had to pay $100 for the initial consultation. He wants $2,000-$3,000 to finalize it...

Hope this helps a bit.

Resources for R:
His Needs Her Needs, by Dr. Willard Harley
Love Busters, by Dr. Willard Harley
(for husbands) Becoming the Ultimate Husband, by Reb Bradley

posts: 1735   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2009
id 6457617
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doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 9:25 PM on Wednesday, August 21st, 2013

Make sure they are even legal in your state. There are far too many people in the D/S forum who found out that they weren't worth the paper they were written on, and they were just out the extra cost of having them drawn up.

DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever

posts: 4527   ·   registered: Feb. 29th, 2008
id 6457735
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