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callmecrazy (original poster member #38765) posted at 2:42 PM on Saturday, August 24th, 2013
I had been doing very well, as had he. Than last weekend I saw her name pop up as having sent him an e-mail on his phone and saw "I dont understand". He tried to click off of it bc we had been having a great night and he didnt want me upset (I had also had a bit much wine) Well...I saw him try to swipe the screen to black and grabbed the phone from him. Its gone...she is nowhere on his phone and he is saying he doesnt know where it went. He didnt delete it bc he never even opened up into it. Im confused. I heard there are messages that delete themselves in a short amt of time, or various different messaging things...what could the answer be???
Anyways, on top of this hitting me I have had 3 people Im close to (2 who I thought had great marriages)confide in me with 2 with cheating 1 NPD husband who triggered her old issues steming from her PTSD he knew about and finding a way to blame her instead of trying to help fix what he did. My heart is breaking. I feel there is no hope. And why divorce bc it really seems like 90% of marriages are horrible. Amazing how I was finally feeling good again for a while and now Im broken again.
inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 3:08 PM on Saturday, August 24th, 2013
(((callmecrazy)))
there's a good chance he has an app for a different email on his phone, and that's what you saw.
I'm so sorry. I know how very much this hurts.
There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown
callmecrazy (original poster member #38765) posted at 3:15 PM on Saturday, August 24th, 2013
Can you hide the app though? I looked all through the phone and found no evidence of anything
missyb32641 ( member #35656) posted at 3:47 PM on Saturday, August 24th, 2013
It depends on the type of phone and app. Some apps look innocent yet are used as lockers for texting and emails. There is one that looks like a calculator but is used for texting.
ME: BS 43
Him FWH 45
Married 20 years together 22 at the time.
Working thru R.
doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 4:25 PM on Saturday, August 24th, 2013
There are MANY apps that run invisibly on a phone. They have apps that do all sorts of crazy things to make cheating easier and more accessible. There are apps that will make your phone stay silent and not even light up when a certain number calls you or texts you so the AP can call or text without the BS ever getting suspicious. There are apps that delete a message once it's seen. There are apps that you can call someone from so that it won't ever show up on your phone bill. There are apps that allow you to send a text message from any phone number you want whether it belongs to you or not. There's all sorts of stuff.
Don't doubt what you saw, you know what you saw, and he's going to do all he can to make you think you didn't see it since you can't "find" it on his phone. He's still contacting her, it's clear from that message she sent.
DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever
sodamnlost ( member #37190) posted at 9:13 PM on Saturday, August 24th, 2013
Sadly - if things don't make sense - there is a reason ;( Emails don't just randomly dissapear.
Me - BS original Dday 10-2012, separated June 2014, divorce Fall 2016
Grief, loss and pain taunt her - "you will never be the same." Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, she rises and spreads her new wings as she brushes off the ashes an
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