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1ost0ne (original poster member #40202) posted at 2:32 PM on Monday, August 26th, 2013
It has been exactly 1 month from DDay. A lot has changed in this period. The roller coaster has definitely gotten better. I'm able to start recognizing when it's going down and though I can't stop it, I am able to deal with it. The WW seems to have FINALLY gotten on board and is really working towards healing me and this M.
We went on a couple of dates this weekend and had a good time despite. The A was always "there" but we were able to act and H&W. She said she beats herself up after weekends like this and it reminds her of how good it really was and what she's effed up.
We are going to our vacation home where my wife carried on her internet PAs this weekend. I'm really worried about how I'm going to deal with the upcoming triggers. I am already feeling anxiety creep in and we are four days from leaving.
“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
― Maya Angelou
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 7:39 PM on Monday, August 26th, 2013
(((hugs))) Just keep breathing. Try to create new memories there for the two of you. If you trigger, tell her, and talk through it. Frankly, it's really early for you to have to confront going there, so if you're going to go, cut yourself some slack if and when you do trigger and realize that it's normal AND that you're being really brave and up-front facing such a potential big trigger at this time.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
hurtininHouston ( member #39250) posted at 12:32 AM on Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
I wish you luck my brother I'm five months out and right after I found out we went on a date and I took her on some trips. It helps working to create new memories. I can only imagine the triggers. Is definitely a hard bumpy road. It helps having a spouse that works to heal you. You are right that it never goes away it will always be there. That really sucks!!! I wish you luck
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