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simplydevastated (original poster member #25001) posted at 5:19 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
I just feel down and I don't know how else to explain it. I have too many bad thoughts floating around in my head today that are not usually there. I feel alone and invisible. I'm trying to focus on me and the kids but today I feel almost suffocated by him. He's completely checked out of the marriage and back on his sites as of last week.
I just don't want to be here or anywhere right now. Some days are great where I can push it all out and just have a fabulous day. Unfortunately, today isn't one of them.
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
MissMovingOn ( member #30720) posted at 5:21 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
(((sd))) I've been there. I'm sorry you have to feel this way today.
Me: BS, 34
Him: (SA/NPD)WH, 31
Multiple ddays since 2010 (Latest January 15th 2013) - not counting anymore!
FINAL FINAL DDay - August 8, 2014. I AM DONE!
StillStanding1 ( member #40144) posted at 5:31 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
(((simplydevastated)))
I'm so sorry... This rollercoaster ride we are all on just SUCKS.
I don't have any profound words of wisdom. Just want you to know you are not alone.
Try to do some little thing that makes you happy or feel good today. Just feeling the sunshine on your face for a bit can help... I don't know...
Hang in there. You are strong!
Me: BS50s Him: WH50s
M 25 years - DD DS DS
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday - 2/13, S for 1 year, now R
krazy8516 ( member #40076) posted at 5:45 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
Must be something about this week. It seems like a lot of people are feeling this way lately. 
me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day
married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m
"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."
Jennifer99 ( member #39551) posted at 6:00 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
Hugs! I have days like that. Be sure you aren't beating yourself up for it, it just prolongs the feeling.
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 6:07 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
Sending some positive SI mojo your way
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:07 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
(((simplydevastated)))
I hate the down days, they feel sometimes impossible to get through.
May your days ahead be brighter!
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
simplydevastated (original poster member #25001) posted at 8:37 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
Thank you for all the hugs, mojo, and advice.
The funny thing...I'm always on here telling people not to let what their WS spouse define them, to focus on themselves and be the best person they can be. I guess I need to start taking my own advice 
I took the kids to the mall for some retail therapy and bought myself a new maxi skirt. My son bought a shirt for back to school with what was left of a gift card and my daughter bought herself some lotion from Bath and Body Works. We had a nice afternoon until, what looked like, some creepy guy following us. Then we went into one of my favorite stores, DSW and it all just went sparkly and while I was looking at shoes 
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
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