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SOO...I thought the stbx and I were in agreement in the parameters for him taking the boys to nj this weekend. Initially he wanted to miss school, which was my kindergarteners first day mind you and drive all night tonight, when they have to be up at 6:45 for school tomorrow morning. I was not cool with this. I told him he could pick them up after school Friday and return tonight in time for bedtime..

So I text at 5:30 this evening to see how the drive is going and he says, slow...they just left at 5:00 pm! WTF?! Now my kids will be in the car for ten hours all night getting shitty sleep because his selfish ass self wanted to stay for a labor day cookout instead of leaving in time to get them home as promised. And he just expected to call me when he showed up in the middle of the night with them so I could wake up and get them up into their beds, up for school all cranky as they will be and be the one dealing with that. Let alone the fact that its week two of school, and my kindergarteners only second day!

Well I have learned my lesson. I should never have trusted him to follow this agreement and next time will not allow him to take them. I did also tell him they could sleep over his place and HE could be the one dealing with tired cranky children and make sure he gets them to school on time, etc. Asshole

Ugh. That's annoying!!

What a dumbass!

WOW. What an idiot. I would be so mad too. I am just starting to deal with this crap too and it stinks. You have no control. You have to trust an asshole with the kids you love more than anything in the world. So selfish! start saying NO.

I'd let the teachers know....

sometimes a public outing is what straightens up poor parenting

Good call phoenix , thank you. I will be emailing them now to make them aware. Part of me feel bad for making him keep them overnight and dealing with getting them to school because I feel like they will be suffering if late, if he doesn't pack lunches, or whatever...but at the same time...without SEEING how difficult it is in the morning himself, I don't think he will get the stress it puts on both them as well as me. Mostly them...he doesn't give a crap about my difficult morning lol

It must be in the air... My son called me at 5:00 tonight to ask if he could stay another night at his dads house.

Why?

Well because they went a few hours away for the 3 day weekend (without telling me, of course) and were going to be late for the swap time. And he was exhausted from the trip, still had to pack up his stuff at dads, and didn't want to be driving for hours to get back into the car to drive to the swap location.

Perfect. What idiots these guys are eh? Run the kids ragged all weekend and expect children to manage their behavior at school while tired and cranky.

I hope your kindergartener has a great second day tomorrow. Personally, I'm not looking forward to tomorrow night. My son is going to be in a terrible mood.

This is a problem that we have sometimes.

One thing that I notice about Perv and I wonder if you all do is that there is a fierce need for him to be outside of a box or boundaries do not matter for him-he shed and fled routine and suddenly in this new life, doesn't feel that it's important for him and often for DD, either.

She is getting caught up in this new way that he is and it's a struggle for me to do as you are doing and keep consistency-with anything about her life anymore. It's messing with her thinking a little bit because her personality thrives on routine, so she doesn't understand the changes come in his personality or time.

For a time at the beginning, he would ask to have her visit him overnight on school days and for some reason it went against my wishes-the upset in routine for her and worries that you have with her lunch and such-so that now I've become a boring stickler to her, she calls me "rules mom", but you know what? She trusts me and that means more than any of the rest.

For some reason when this Labor Day weekend was coming and we were in mediation making the plans, it came to mind for me to ask for this weekend for her and me to have together. I'm really relieved that I did and I think I will try to keep it as a pattern, wherever we are, because it saved issues and we didn't have the stress of him around with the stress of getting ready for school, too.

I wish you all peace in the process of "co parenting" and I struggle to know why that term is used for it, when the differences in parenting come out and are so big!