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General :
Stuck in neutral

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 Doubts (original poster member #40209) posted at 8:41 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

Has anyone gotten to the point where they don't know what the next step is? I can't seem to find what out what I should be doing, so I am doing nothing. WH can't (won't) remember details of A. Not sure of my feelings or what to do next. I tried 180. No talking at all. I don't want to give up because he wants to R. How long does this phase last? We are going to MC and I am not getting better in some ways, but I am not crying as often.

posts: 79   ·   registered: Aug. 7th, 2013   ·   location: CA
id 6481221
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EasyDoesIt ( member #29514) posted at 8:43 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

Have you considered doing something for yourself outside of the marriage like a yoga class? Planting a flower bed? Refinishing an old piece of furniture? Scrapbook? Just something to take you out of neutral. I think that it's important to realize you are a separate being who needs to be tended to.

Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

posts: 3756   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2010   ·   location: Georgia
id 6481222
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StruckNumb ( member #38973) posted at 9:00 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

Sigh, I'm going through the same and my IC just recommended doing something outside of trying to save this marriage. Some class in something I like, yoga, yes, gardening, something just for yourself. If you can find the energy for it because this is pretty much hell on earth.

me-BW-51
f?WH - 49
m27 yrs, T 28, no kids
OW-WH's former CW, friends + 20yr
DDay-11/16/12, LT EA, 4y? PA, manymany
EA with FFriends over the years
Attempting R
Is there an end to blindness in sight?

posts: 80   ·   registered: Apr. 12th, 2013   ·   location: N.California
id 6481225
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 Doubts (original poster member #40209) posted at 1:01 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

I have tried a few projects (Scrapbooking,crocheting,quilting), but they end up unfinished in my sewing room. I then feel guilty for losing interest in them. I need to suck it up somehow and move forward.

posts: 79   ·   registered: Aug. 7th, 2013   ·   location: CA
id 6481310
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