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soconfusednow (original poster member #40078) posted at 4:41 AM on Friday, September 13th, 2013
We were talking about how certain things trigger me & I told him one of the things I needed was for him to reach out & hug me without being asked. Although I was sad at the time, no hug came.
Later in the evening our paths were crossing, he could have just walked around me. Instead he opened his arms for me to enter and receive a hug, not just any hug, but the best hug I've had in a while! 
[This message edited by soconfusednow at 10:44 PM, September 12th (Thursday)]
D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50's WH 50's
NC-several, last broken NC 7/2013 (?)
Married 30+ years, 2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?
sinsof thefather ( member #29295) posted at 8:52 AM on Friday, September 13th, 2013
I'm glad he acted on what you asked him and gave you what you needed. I hope this positive step from him is the start of a permanent change in this regard.
...second star to the right and straight on till morning.
ok4now ( member #35896) posted at 10:12 AM on Friday, September 13th, 2013
So confused for now
That is awesome. I know a year after Dday. I finally told my WH what I needed. I know it sounds stupid but I explained when I triggered or brought up the EA what I needed was reassurance. Him to hug me or tell me he is sorry, or he loved me.
This was our light bulb moment. He told me he thought when I brought up the past I was looking for an argument and he would immediately get into his passive aggressive stage.
IC for him definitely helped with our communication and with him pulling away when I wanted to talk about it.
BS - 45 (me), WS - 39, DD - 11
Separated (under the same roof) - 5/18
WS- moved out 8/20 (thank god)
D Day’s - 6/2/11 EA (would have been a PA if the OW was game), 2/9/17 EA work colleague, 4/12/18 PA his assistant of 10 years
AFrayedKnot ( member #36622) posted at 11:03 AM on Friday, September 13th, 2013
BS 48fWS 44 (SurprisinglyOkay)DsD DSA whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better."Knowing is half the battle"
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