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The shit has hit the fan!

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 mixedintherut (original poster member #40330) posted at 9:59 PM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013

So, I found out on Wed. that WH was sick, had gone to a dr. in FL, and gotten a prescription for Strep. I found this out from his mother, because he didn't have decency to tell me himself. He never called or text to let me know that he wouldn't be home to see our daughter, as he was supposed to have been home that day.

Moving on. Saturday he comes home, say he is going to his friends saturday night at 9, as his vehicle broke down and he needs help. Clue #1, 9pm is dark, so how much work exactly are you going to get done? So he says he will be home in the morning to see our daughter.

We went to Red Lobster for lunch, played outside with our daughter, 75% of the day seemed "normal".

He left at 8:45, so I decided to snoop through his work backpack, looking for his prescriptions wanting proof. Well, they aren't there, but low and behold, there are 8.5 Viagra pills, which he has no prescription for!

So this morning he came home around 9:30, I left at 10:30, got home by 12:15. He lays down on the couch and falls asleep. I snoop through his backpack again. Found his prescriptions!!! They were filled on Wednesday, 20 minutes from our home, (KY btw). His work log, states that he was off duty from 9/11/2013-9/14/2013, which is not true, because he isn't working today either! Apparently, he was leaving here at 4 this afternoon for work, and then he slipped up and said he will be leaving in the morning.

So, I am furious! I took pictures of the prescription bottles, with address, and date, for proof, put them back, he had no clue I knew anything!

I haven't had access to his cell phone since dday a month ago! He went to take his shower, had the door cracked and the curtain cracked, thinking he was smooth. Oh how wrong he was! So, I went in and he pulls the curtain back, asked what I am doing, I told him I was getting tampons. Lol. So I proceed to get tampons, he closes the curtain back, and I grab his shorts! Before I make it downstairs I have the phone in my hand, throw the shorts on the couch, run out the door to snoop, thinking he knows. He doesn't! I start going through the text, she is saved in his phone as "beautiful<3" . I read enough, and call. She asks me to hold on, and then I let her have it! Told her that her relationship was based on a lie, that she was ruining a family with an innocent 4 year old child, and she hung up on me. Well he gets a text, "why did I get that call?" I sent her a message saying that we had been back together, until I found out about her, gave her the dates for us getting back together and the date that I found out about her, that he was apparently f*cking both of us at the same time , and that I hope she was happy with herself. and told her again, that she was breaking up a home for a 4 year old little girl.

I went back inside, he was getting out of the shower, with no care in the world, I threw his phone in the sink and said, "have fun covering that up!", threw his shorts across the bathroom, and he is blank as can be. Has no idea wth is going on. I went off on him! He tried to say that I needed to mind my own business and stop snooping. He said he had nothing to explain to her, and I told him that his text stated otherwise, that I had called her. Of course then he gets mad! Says he was trying to stay around and be the nice guy, and pay our bills and support me and my daughter. I don't give a flying f*ck who you think you are, you paying the bills does not give you the right to walk around and do whatever you damn well please! I am a human, I have rights, and feelings, and a heart, and I was stupid enough to be in love with him! Needless to say he got dressed, and left.

I tried calling this woman once before, his mother called her and left a voicemail, and of course we never heard anything back. At this point I don't even have an accurate name.

There are no words to describe the anger, fear and hurt. I thought I was mad finding out about her, all of the LIES, every single one of them, I am sure half of them I don't even know. None of this makes sense! I have no clue what to do! I am almost numb at this point. My mind is racing, my heart is racing, I could throw up at any minute, my stomach is in knots. I have no clue when or if he will be back. If he is planning on continuing to pay the bills etc.

I am sure he will pull the "crazy exwife" card, I am 95% she knew that we had previously filed for divorce, but I do not believe that she is aware of the fact that we were back together, living together, in what I thought was a committed relationship!

And of course, there are so many things I should have done/said while I had access to his phone, I froze, and panicked. I wish I had forwarded to the text message to myself, I doubt very seriously I will ever get my hands on his phone again!

Edit to add, I am aware that My WH is to blame for this whole mess. I honestly don't think this woman had a clue we were together again. I hope she has enough sense to look into everything, but I am pretty sure, that he will cover it all up with lies, and she will fall for every.single.bit of it!

[This message edited by mixedintherut at 4:01 PM, September 15th (Sunday)]

DD 1: PA 12/4/09 He spent 2.5 years with OW1
R: 8/31/2012
DD 2: EA 8/16/13
BS: 26
WH: 25
1 young daughter.
Terribly disgusted. He refuses to give up his "friend". Headed towards D.

posts: 138   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2013   ·   location: kentucky
id 6488014
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SoOver96 ( member #40169) posted at 10:31 PM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013

I want to come to where you are and give you a big hug we don't deserve being treated like this I feel like this every time my WS doesn't come home and lies I tell him to get out he camps out in our vehicle

posts: 171   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6488033
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Tired05 ( member #39609) posted at 11:38 PM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013

...the part that got me was the "it's none of your business" thing he threw at you.

I have no words. I'm sorry, but at the same time I am glad that you took notice of the flags and didn't overlook all of the things that just didn't add up. I'm glad you know what he is up to again and aren't living a lie still.

Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

posts: 122   ·   registered: Jun. 19th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 6488095
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 mixedintherut (original poster member #40330) posted at 11:46 PM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013

Oh yes, the "none of your business" pissed me off SO much. He said it multiple times, as if I was somehow breaking his trust snooping through his stuff. Then he had enough nerve to say that he had broke things off with me. Um no, there has been no separation or divorce papers filed. It wasn't until I called him out on the 16th, that he stopped saying, "I love you, I miss you," giving me hugs and kisses. Essentially up until that point things had remained relatively normal. I have no idea when they actually started sleeping together, as he has of course lied about that. I do however know, that they didn't start talking until June 4th, of this year, via cell phone records. Now, how do you give up your family, for someone you have known for 3.5 months?!

I knew he was lying, but I hadn't realized that he was lying to this extent. I am pretty sure he has been spending every friday night and every sunday night with her, after leaving us sunday, saying he was going to work.

How do they live their lives with such big lies, and keep track of it, how do they sleep at night, or look themselves in the mirror?! Or look our daughter in the eyes?!

DD 1: PA 12/4/09 He spent 2.5 years with OW1
R: 8/31/2012
DD 2: EA 8/16/13
BS: 26
WH: 25
1 young daughter.
Terribly disgusted. He refuses to give up his "friend". Headed towards D.

posts: 138   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2013   ·   location: kentucky
id 6488098
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crazycatlady ( member #12849) posted at 11:23 AM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

Time to start the 180. Turn him off. Ignore him and start the divorce proceedings.

No more fighting or even anger. Treat him like he deserves by looking right past him.

Good luck.

Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.William Shakespeare "All's Well That Ends Well"D-Day: Nov 30, 2006"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night." William Shakespeare

posts: 1870   ·   registered: Dec. 4th, 2006   ·   location: Etherville
id 6488531
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