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Finding the things she said

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 kickboxer (original poster member #39858) posted at 9:29 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

Fortunately for my WH and his OW, current technology doesn't allow me to access the substance of their text message exchanges. I can't shine a light on all of it, destroying their ugly little secrets.

At least for now, anyway. I can get them with the help of a lawyer which means they will never be completely GONE, but I find little reassurance in that because I struggle daily with the content of their conversations.

I haven't done a lot of internet scouring lately, but have come to the decision that OW was communicating with WH via her Pinterest account. He created an account just so he could follow her. Really? If you knew my WH, you'd understand why that's sooooo...I dunno...uncharacteristic of him.

But I digress.

Pretty much everything pinned in the past 35ish weeks sounds like something she was probably saying to him.

As recently as 8 weeks ago (about 1 week after DD), she was pinning/commenting "we will get through this".

Six weeks ago, she alluded to "knowing the lies you're telling right now"...and went on to say something about "people you know who are confiding in me".

30+ weeks ago, her posts sound as if the two of them were talking about leaving their spouses.

But one pin, from 33 weeks ago, makes me want to scream at the world to warn of her hipocracy:

"I don't want perfect. I want honest."

Really?

You're made of dishonest homewrecking scum. You couldn't get enough of the cheating, lying, betraying side of my husband.

BW - 42 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 15 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.

posts: 253   ·   registered: Jul. 18th, 2013   ·   location: Somewhere Out There
id 6489233
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roses303 ( member #40161) posted at 9:35 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

Your WH's OW sounds just like my WH's OW. She had a special board called "You know who you are" which was later changed to "Missing you" and then "blah blah blah" when she realized WH wasn't responding.

She would post stuff directed at me too. My favorites were "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you", "Don't judge my choices if you don't understand my reasons" and my favorite "before you judge me, make sure you are perfect"

Me: BW - 46
Him: WH - 49
MOW: my BFF from college and good friend for 25 yrs
Married 14 years, 2 Tweens
DD: 5/20/13 2 year long EA/PAs (one 7 yrs ago and one this past year)
Status: day by day, in MC, working on R

posts: 141   ·   registered: Aug. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: roses303
id 6489243
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Razor ( member #16345) posted at 9:42 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

I find it unbelievable when I hear WSs claim that they believed and trusted each other.

I mean. Have they not noticed that they are both lying to their families and especially their own spouses? Lying to the people they stood before friends family and god and swore they would never betray each other?

Really?

How many WSs have said they did not use protection (thereby exposing us to STDs) because their AP told them they were not having sex with their own spouse or anyone else?

Really? They believe this?

Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche

posts: 3483   ·   registered: Sep. 25th, 2007
id 6489253
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Dreamland ( member #40488) posted at 11:36 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

Oh my .. The OW wrote me that she was "innocent because she was devastated when she found out he was married with child".. And that was one week after you met him and then she said.. "So we tried to break it off and I confirmed with 'mutual coworker that knows us' yes they are married but I loved him so much". Really after 2 weeks you love my husband. And then she says" I am not a homewrecker and I am not a harlot..." Yes because fucking in the car at park and ride makes you a so classy.. Especially unprotected sex.. Cumdumpster ..

Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

posts: 515   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2013
id 6489375
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Tired05 ( member #39609) posted at 12:11 AM on Tuesday, September 17th, 2013

On DDay, OW, her family and friends, and my WH were all applauding her on how "hard" she tried to help my WH fall back in love with me and help him work through his problems with his M. How "in the beginning, I was trying to help him with his marriage...but then we just fell in love. I tried." ALL of them thought that this made it okay.

And the fact that they were both soldiers was another point that Ow's mom kept trying to make. "Give these guys a break. It is so hard being in a different country away from your family while fighting for our freedom."

I know how you feel though. When my WH came home on leave and after he fell asleep, I took his phone and stayed up all night reading through their conversations on voxxer and other phone apps. Months of messages and I even listened to some of the voice recordings they sent back and forth to each other. It was like a sick craving. I HAD to know and couldn't think of anything else until I did. I'm glad I did it because it helped me get some real answers, but sometimes I wish I didn't read every detail.

I also noticed that their conversations never stray out of a few categories: their sexual 'memories', my pregnancy, the M, or OW subtly putting me down, OW's pregnancy and their 'future' once my baby was born and he left me, or her needing money.

Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

posts: 122   ·   registered: Jun. 19th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 6489428
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 12:27 AM on Tuesday, September 17th, 2013

These dumb OW's will say, well exactly that the dumbest stuff. I read in one of my WH and MOW's text exchanges on DDay when my WH told her he was going to work on the M, she said, "you are a good man and always make the right decision" But he failed miserably at saying no to her when her legs were open

I do not know where they come up with this shit.

fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024

posts: 9075   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 6489448
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