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General :
What questions did you ask?

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 SoOver96 (original poster member #40169) posted at 2:41 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

I still have questions I don't know actually what are the right questions To ask

My friend says she ran into him and gutter fish troll at a gas station she and I've racked my brain what should I ask first thing I told him he needs to write a no contact letter and send it to it if WS is truly wanting to be with me he needs to do everything i ask and willing to do it by any means right I will be getting tested again... I told he needs to make his choice because he won't be getting his cake and eatting it too he says he chooses me but again it's to early to see should I ask for him to change his number as soon as he gets his guy friends contacts on his phone

posts: 171   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6495461
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Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 3:40 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Make yourself a list of what you need to have happen in order to attempt R. That way when you ask the million dollar question, WS knows what he's getting into. Also be prepared for the answer to not be what you expect, or for WS to say "I'd like to R, but I can't do A B and C." A NC letter to AP and changing phone #s seems to be a common requirement, and its really not that much to ask of WS.

Keep in mind that you are entitled to change the list anytime you see fit. I made a R requirements list for my STBXH. However, I later learned about another PA, this one with my BFF. It was a deal breaker.

R is a gift you can choose to give...or not.

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6495512
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HardenMyHeart ( member #15902) posted at 4:09 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Here is a link to a good article by Shirley Glass titled, 10 Questions to Ask Your Unfaithful Spouse:

http://www.ivillage.com/10-questions-ask-your-unfaithful-spouse/6-a-126599

Me: BH, Her: WW, Married 40 years, Reconciled

posts: 7038   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2007
id 6495539
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Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 4:32 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Take your time and really think through what you want to know. I sat on my knowledge for a few days to be calm but once I cut loose, I still can't remember what I said. I really wish I would have written down my questions. He would have still lied but at least I could remember ed the conversation better. Just remember it was quite loud.

BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

posts: 5738   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6495567
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 SoOver96 (original poster member #40169) posted at 4:52 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Thank you all I really wished he'd just tell me the truth he said he doesn't mind doing the nc but I don't know how he'll react when I ask to change the number he doesn't know how to set a cell phone up so I set it up I'm not worried about him having another phone I put babe as first name and for last name I put Wife in all caps and for company I put queen of (last name) household lol

posts: 171   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6495585
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dov46 ( member #29283) posted at 7:40 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

SoOver: Am I reading this right...he is still w/OW? If so...it really doesn't matter what you want to ask...if he's still in contact/physically with her...there's no point in asking questions:(

ME:BS (46)
HIM:WH (37)
Husband caught in EA/PA 1/09. Filed for Divorce 2/09.
Reconciled 3/09....remains rocky!
Dday #2?-1/23/12
Divorced 6/26/12
It's the friends you can call up at 4:00 a.m. that matter....Marlene Dietrich

posts: 193   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2010   ·   location:
id 6495670
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 SoOver96 (original poster member #40169) posted at 7:49 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

No I got an email from a friend stating about him being seen with her in two towns over which takes 35 mins to get too he stats he was in our nieghborhood with friends which majority of them are quite older except two he blew out his knee he couldn't of gone far either way

posts: 171   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6495979
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