I posted this in NPD thread also.
(No contact protection order in place)
My stbx has been very persistent in wanting to talk to me. He says that if we talk then we can work things out and not have to fight through the Divorce. He tries to go through my family, through my friends, through my counselor...any way except through the attorneys. He dropped off a copy of the temporary order with the Deputy and told him that District Court should mean more than County Court (where the protection order was issued from). He highlighted all the instructions for pickup and child communication. He noted on the Holiday's on how we should work those out and to please talk to him.
After the exchange, I realized that I forgot to get him his mail and my daughters car payment was in there, so I went to his Mom's to see if she would give it to him. Of course I was crying. This is all very hard on me as it is everyone. I talked to her about how I heard that he might be doing drugs, that he had another affair that he hadn't admitted to, and that he currently was with another women who is known for drugs and rumored to have hepatitis. She spoke to him later I guess and called me to say that he denied the other affair, but had been messing around with this other woman recently and had gone to the bar with her, but they have decided that it wasn't going to work. I cried all night. It made me feel horrible that he would be interested in someone so soon and someone with such a known terrible reputation. He text my friend the next day to deny everything and say that he loves me and we just need to talk.
Anyway, we normally have to do child exchange at the Sheriffs office, but this weekend my son had a football game and asked if they could just go with me after the game instead of going to the Sheriffs office. I said that would be okay. WRONG...
Stbx kept asking if he could just have 2 minutes to talk to me. I shook my head no. A few minutes later I went over to my car, with my Mom and my friend and sister in law to get the kids to go home. I knew that he would corner me to talk to me. That is exactly what he did. Said he wants to get along, but wants to talk to me. My mom said, she can't talk to you the rules are that you need to go through the lawyers. So he grabbed my daughter (9yrs old) and told the kids to get their shit and get in, that they were going to the Sheriff's office. My daughter said no. He said well Grandma just chewed my ass about the rules and the rules are we go to the Sheriff's office. I was just going to let him go. I figured it might be easier that way and with his temperment he might get in trouble, but my daughter kept fighting him and crying saying that she wanted her mom. He yelled at my mom and told her to stay out of it and my mom said well she is still my daughter and he said and she is my wife. My mom said, well not for long and do you want to add child abuse to this? So , I got up and did not say a word, but calmly walked over to stbx with a calm expression and gently and slowly pulled my daughter over to me. He let go and we headed back toward my vehicle. My legs were shaky and giving out so I had to squat down and regain myself. My son said, Mom my bags are still in dads car. I told him to go get them. stbx said bye kids I love you and then shouted I love all of you-throwing his hands up in exasberation. He kept speaking loudly saying we need to talk about this civily- I don't want to fight. He put up his hand in a "call me" gesture and got into his pickup. He drove away and stopped by my vehicle and talked through his window that we need to talk.
My kids were scared, my daughter was crying, my friend was crying. And me...well I guess I have gotten too used to this because I was just numb with a terrible instant migraine. My daughter said she thought he was going to take her away and she was really embarrassed because everyone leaving the football game was watching.
So, what do I do? Have him jailed for breaking the protection order? That will just make him furious.
Do nothing.
Give in and arrange a sit-down?
He text my friend. That was ridiculous!
He obviously takes no responsibility in his actions and no matter the consequences-it will be someone else's fault. So what do I do?
I called him Mom that night and said well stbx lost his temper a little bit. He broke the protection order. This is exactly the reason that we have the exchange at the Sheriffs office. Please tell him that I have already contacted the mediator and he should be getting the paperwork. We should be able to talk then, but he really needs to control himself and keep himself out of trouble. I could feel her defensiveness in her voice, so I know it fell on deaf ears. She said well you two need to talk. Nothing will be accomplished passing paper back and forth.
