This Topic is Archived
glastron (original poster member #27886) posted at 5:06 PM on Sunday, September 29th, 2013
I was married for 22 years to my ex. He is a very mechanical and technical type person. He always planned well financially and also was very handy. He could talk to just about anyone. I guess I think I kind of lost what was good about me in the marriage, because I thought I just never measured up to his ability. Now that he has been gone for three years and we are now divorced, I see so many of my good qualities that were there but were never really acknowledged by him, or his family because they were so busy acknowledging his. I have strength, courage, loyalty, perseverance, integrity, and resilience to name some. I don't know why I didn't think of these when we were together. It is like my self-esteem is higher now than when we were together, even though I still miss him, his love and the marital relationship very deeply. Not sure if anyone else has thought about this. It is like I am a more confident in myself now, but also more lonely and sad than I was when we were married.
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 4:53 PM on Monday, September 30th, 2013
I think I was spending so much time putting out fires where my exwh was concerned that I just didn't have time to focus on myself in any way.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
This Topic is Archived
