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catlover50 (original poster member #37154) posted at 7:37 PM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2013
Just heard something on NPR about this topic and googled it. Apparently some people who experience a serious traumatic event can use it as a catalyst for true, lasting personal growth. To me, infidelity would qualify!
The articles talk about personal characteristic that tend to make it easier to grow after trauma, like optimism, openness to change, etc. I found it positive because it tells me that it is possible for something good to come out of this crap.
And I think both WSs and BSs experience trauma and can find lasting change for the better.
They even said that the degree of trauma can be related to the degree of change. For me, this is likely why it took such a crisis for my H to finally face himself and do the hard work. Only facing truly losing everything and seeing the extreme pain he caused was enough of a catalyst for lasting change.
Course, this is me again trying to look for the positive!
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
sodamnlost ( member #37190) posted at 9:40 PM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2013
I've seen alot of that here in the last year. Both sides of this horrible coin -
Some have REALLY grown. I have miles to go but the changes in me in a year are crazy. I think we have a choice - let it drive us farther down or to help propel us to rise above. The choice is ours and ours alone. No matter which hat you wear.
Me - BS original Dday 10-2012, separated June 2014, divorce Fall 2016
Grief, loss and pain taunt her - "you will never be the same." Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, she rises and spreads her new wings as she brushes off the ashes an
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