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Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

Reconciliation :
so angry

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 lovemy3boys (original poster new member #40920) posted at 8:43 PM on Wednesday, October 9th, 2013

Is it normal to be this angry. I am a calm person so I don't yell. I found the texts on Monday of this week.

Found my fiance sexting another woman but not physically cheating (she doesn't even live here). I feel 100% betrayed and disgusted that he would risk losing his 3 children and his fiance.

I feel so angry and pissed. I hate seeing his face and have 0 lovey dovey feelings towards him. I want to punch him every time I see him. I keep taking stabs at him like:

"sure you don't want to stay up late and text her"

"she's a whore is that really your type"

He is being 100% remorseful and agrees to counseling, cut off talking to her and will do anything to make it work but I just cant drop it.

how long will I feel this angry and pissed and annoyed at the sight of him. How could he take our family for granted like that.

posts: 14   ·   registered: Oct. 8th, 2013   ·   location: florida
id 6517114
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soconfusednow ( member #40078) posted at 8:53 PM on Wednesday, October 9th, 2013

I remember beating walls, screaming & crying when I was home alone one day.

Angry YES I am! But not as frequent as before.

It's great when I have a happy day.

Have you been to The Healing Library yet?

D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50's WH 50's
NC-several, last broken NC 7/2013 (?)
Married 30+ years, 2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?

posts: 491   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6517133
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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 9:12 PM on Wednesday, October 9th, 2013

You will become more angry as reality sets in..prepare yourself. The anger was present on dday with me..but it didn't fully kick in until after the shock wore off at 5 months out.

Also..you found out just a few days ago..he is not remorseful. True remorse takes time. He has no idea how much damage he has caused yet. He is still reeling from the shock of you finding out. he may be saying all the right things..but watch his actions. Words are easy. Actually going to IC,MC,reading books,talking about his A,answering your questions,and riding the emotional roller coaster e has put you on and how he handles himself through all of this will show you if he is remorseful.

Some people would say that a sexting affair is a PA and an EA. If he was getting off based on their interaction..texts..videos..pics..that's physical,even if he didn't actually touch her. And if they were complimenting each other during the sexting,stroking each other's egos..that's an EA.

I only say this because he will possibly try to minimize what he did"it wasn't an affair..I didn't touch her ..it was "just"...It was "only"...don't let him minimize what he has done.

[This message edited by confused615 at 3:13 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)]

BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10



..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


posts: 15220   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2011
id 6517164
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