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stillsad1970 (original poster member #38977) posted at 8:10 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
After 6 1/2 months since d day and in R with wh, why am I just now having major panic attacks an feeling completely insecure? The insecurity thing is NOT me. WH still works with OW but I've been told by WH and best friend who works with them both, not to be concerned, I do believe them. So why now? I thought I had this thing licked.
eachdayisvictory ( member #40462) posted at 8:19 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
I felt exactly like this many times. When you have those feelings, talk about them here and with your spouse, and don't worry too much. It is very common from what I read and have felt. Apparently these waves can last for years. The difference for me now compared to the earliest days is that I'm not scared to lay it all out for my H. When I get those panick attacks, I tell him about them, we work them out together, and we give ourselves time.
You are not alone.
me, BW: 37
FWH: 38
together 19 years, M 13 years
Dday: Feb 2013
LTA for 2+years
children: 2 boys age 6 and 9
Reconciled
stillsad1970 (original poster member #38977) posted at 8:23 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
The "you are not alone" just made me cry. Thank you. I needed that.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 8:32 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
I am 14 months past DDay and I triggered so hard yesterday that I had a panic attack, and mind movies that were overwhelming. I was walking around the house in a daze, holding myself and watching movies right behind my open eyes. It happens. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
eachdayisvictory ( member #40462) posted at 8:39 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
well, now I cried feeling the support and getting to support someone.
Sending you extra hugs stillsad.
me, BW: 37
FWH: 38
together 19 years, M 13 years
Dday: Feb 2013
LTA for 2+years
children: 2 boys age 6 and 9
Reconciled
SorrowBhindSmile ( member #38139) posted at 3:57 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013
i'm 10 months out and they still happen to me on occasion. You are not alone here!!
The OW lives down the street from me. So i see her car, house...HER. all. the. time.
your WH works with OW. You may not see her, but your WH does.....the proximity is there.
When you feel it coming on...face it head on. Talk to your WH. Ask for reassurance. Call him at work just to say "hi". Make plans to meet him for lunch. Chat or text him. Tell him you are feeling down and why and get the boost you need to feel reassured.
Another thing i did was to have my WH text me a picture. When i started feeling wonkey I'd text him "need a pix". he'd have 60 seconds to stop what he was doing and text me a pix back. Didn't matter if he was in a meeting, at lunch with co-workers, whatever.....he stopped what he was doing and sent the pix.
hugs to you!!
Me: BW
Him: WH
OW: My former "dear friend"/neighbor
Married 20+
Kids: 3
D-Day 12/2012
Committed to R 7/8/2013
"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle"
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