Wow, did not think that this year would go the way that it did.
Reconcilation, for all intents and purposes, has led us to a place in our lives and our relationship that is 100 times better than it was before. For that I am grateful. For the memory of the day it happened and the weekend following, not so much.
If you hadnt read my profile, he told me he was going to his sporting club for some practice. Next thing he pocket dialled me while he was fucking a prostitute - while I was on the beach with my daughter celebrating her tenth birthday with her friends.
Last night we were planning our weekend and he said "AppleBlossom, as the weather is going to be nice tomorrow night (as in today, the antiversary) I think I might go to the club for an hour, would that be okay?"
I think I gave him a kind of "WTF" look crossed with this 
and said "actually, usually I would be fine with it, but not tomorrow night".
He was, of course, amazing. Said he would either not go, but a better idea might be for us all to go. We could watch him practice, the kids could have a fizzy drink and some chips and maybe a play of their own and then we could all hang out together.
I said to him later that my feelings a year later reminds me of when my mum died. The grief and the loss and the new way of life gets absorbed after a while, and in some ways it becomes part of who you are. but every now and again the pain is as fresh and as new as the day it happened.
Thank you all so much for helping me get this far. You mean so much to me
[This message edited by AppleBlossom at 8:01 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]
