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Reconciliation :
Nyc together - marathon bound!

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 LA44 (original poster member #38384) posted at 3:50 PM on Friday, November 1st, 2013

Hi everyone, I just wanted to say so long for a few days bc we are off to the BIG freakin' APPLE for the NYC Marathon!!!

My H started training for this April 2012. Then along came Super Storm Sandy. Back to training and now its time to run in this iconic event. Great metaphor for life. You can prepare yourself and do all the work required day after day for months on end and then through no fault of your own its done. Over. Out of your control..... and you begin again.

I have supported him along the way by purchasing clothing, preparing the pasta dinners the night before a big run, reassuring him and of course spending more time with the kids for the BIG LONG CRAZY runs!

My H is not a runner. He is a golfer. But he has worked hard. I am proud of him. Got a special shirt made for him with our flag on the back.

I will have another post to follow at some point about my own marathon of sorts - the aftermath of an A. The pain, the healing, the road to forgiveness. It's coming but not fully formed yet.

We hear all the time that R is a marathon, not a sprint. So true my friends. So true.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers (blakesteele) for a safe and happy visit to one of the greatest cities in the world.

LA

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

posts: 3442   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Canada, eh
id 6546019
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helps2run ( member #33536) posted at 4:11 PM on Friday, November 1st, 2013

My wife and I ran it twice, by far my favorite marathon. The support is unbelievable.

You are right about R being like a marathon. Their is pain, ups and downs, more pain. But at times there is also clarity, strength, and many other emotions.

Then there is the finish line. But is there really a finish line? Isn't life about the journey, the race, the adventure and joy of being alive.

R was not an easy road to go down for me. But I was determined and I pushed myself. My wife would say the same, yet hers was different in that she was the wayward.

In the end our marriage has been saved, but like our running, we are always looking for ways to improve and strengthen our relationship.

live long and prosper

posts: 137   ·   registered: Oct. 5th, 2011   ·   location: michigan
id 6546064
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authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 4:13 PM on Friday, November 1st, 2013

How exciting!!!

Enjoy every minute!

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

posts: 55165   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2007
id 6546068
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helps2run ( member #33536) posted at 4:16 PM on Friday, November 1st, 2013

...oops forgot, good luck!!!!

live long and prosper

posts: 137   ·   registered: Oct. 5th, 2011   ·   location: michigan
id 6546070
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Marathonwaseasy ( member #40674) posted at 4:18 PM on Friday, November 1st, 2013

I ran a marathon 4 months pre dday.

As my user name says. It was a lot easier than dealing with this.

And your husband is a runner. If he runs then he is a runner

Have a great trip and a great run

Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."

posts: 421   ·   registered: Sep. 14th, 2013   ·   location: Ireland
id 6546073
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 LA44 (original poster member #38384) posted at 6:08 PM on Friday, November 1st, 2013

Thanks all! I love your comments help2run. @marathon...yes! He is a runner. He jokes that he isn't bc he never was before April 2012. But he's all in now that's for sure!

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

posts: 3442   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Canada, eh
id 6546229
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blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 6:38 PM on Friday, November 1st, 2013

Great to have this combined goal !!!

Running is a part of my wife's A....was an integral (albeit a lie) component to nurturing it. Not much running actually took place .......but I digress.

God is with you but I will continue to hold you in my prayers. You and your husbands journey are an inspiration to many of us,

Peace to us all.

ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.

posts: 5835   ·   registered: Jan. 8th, 2013   ·   location: Central Missouri
id 6546274
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Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 6:56 PM on Friday, November 1st, 2013

BUY LOTS OF SHOOOOEEEESSS!!!

Oh. Sorry. I got all excited for you!

Good luck to him. Have fun! Eat a lot!

Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

posts: 8016   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2011
id 6546300
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Marathonwaseasy ( member #40674) posted at 5:58 AM on Saturday, November 2nd, 2013

Fwh used swimming as cover for his A. Swam with OW.

Guess anything can be a cover if you chose to cheat

Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."

posts: 421   ·   registered: Sep. 14th, 2013   ·   location: Ireland
id 6546973
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sinsof thefather ( member #29295) posted at 11:31 AM on Saturday, November 2nd, 2013

Good Luck in New York. I hope conditions are good and that he crosses that line with you there waiting for him at the finish. What an accomplishment that will be.

...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

posts: 2598   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2010   ·   location: UK
id 6547043
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karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 6:56 PM on Saturday, November 2nd, 2013

YAY LA and Mr.

Have a blast in the city.

I hope your husband does his personal best!

Looks like a beautiful weekend. Enjoy your alone time!

(((hugs)))

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

posts: 4036   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Massachusetts
id 6547394
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SadFlower ( member #37725) posted at 1:30 AM on Sunday, November 3rd, 2013

Hey, LA, my H and I are in NYC this weekend, too. Not to run, though. When I see the runners, I'll think of you and your H!

Sounds as though you're doing well--I'm happy for you.

You're right about R being s different kind of marathon. Now that's a marathon that both my H and I are running!

Have a wonderful time in the Big Apple.

Me: BW, age 71
Him: WH, age 70
Married 24 years
In R.

D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA

posts: 497   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 6547684
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heme ( member #40684) posted at 1:36 AM on Sunday, November 3rd, 2013

Enjoy yourself! Good luck on the marathon!

BS: Me (30)
WS: Husband (31)
Married 8 years, together 9
D-Day: Sept 10, 2013
D-Day2: May 31, 2014
Children: 5, ages 7, 5, 3, 1 and due in September

Leaning towards leaving, no one deserves this pain.

posts: 205   ·   registered: Sep. 16th, 2013
id 6547689
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OnAnIsland ( member #34319) posted at 7:56 AM on Sunday, November 3rd, 2013

Good luck. Enjoy NYC!

D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful sons

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou

posts: 1486   ·   registered: Dec. 28th, 2011
id 6548015
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 8:56 AM on Sunday, November 3rd, 2013

Sending good thoughts and prayers for your trip!

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6548027
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